Saw a Doctor this week.

Last Tuesday I had a medical. My company pays for it. To make sure I am healthy. My annual check-up. I don’t like doctors. I don’t like what the doctors tell me. They never seem to get it right. Their questions and answers seem so basic. Designed for ignorant people who don’t know anything about health, and don’t know that doctors can be wrong.

I nearly lost my temper this time. Nearly, I had a little slip, but I managed to clamped shut my mouth instead and held it back like a pro. Dumb Doc. Everything came out ‘in range’, as usual, except I had blood in my urine. You know what she said about that?

“Test must be wrong. You should have done it mid-stream. Go to your GP and get it done again properly.”

Lol. Crazy docs. So lazy. So so lazy!

“Well Sunshine, I’ve given you a thorough checkin’ over and you are in great shape. Great shape. Well done.”

“But what about the getting up every night to piss? That’s not right.”

“Probably just a bladder infection.”

“But it’s been nine months at least?”

“You probably just have a weak bladder…”

“What?”

“You probably just have a weak bladder…”

“Twat!”

“Pardon?”

“’Twas nice to see you.”

“No problem”

“And thanks for checking my prostate”

“My pleasure. Your prostate is fine.”

“Thank you, but what about the tiredness? The weariness? The lack of energy?”

“Everything is fine. You are in good health for a man of your age.”

“Are you deaf?

“Everything is fine. You are in good health for a man of your age.”

I gave up after that. There is no point in fighting the system. Little old me can’t change anything. I got better things to do than argue with people who think they know everything. Best to quietly move on, not get in their way. I am in charge of my health.

I will await the blood tests with interest. Muscle tester dude said my gallbladder was all congested and buggered. I wonder if that will show itself, or if I will be as ever ‘in range’?

I don’t let it get me down any more. I’m way past that. I just try and use what I can from the little I get.

Some actual good news: I don’t have haemorrhoids. I don’t have bum cancer. Heart was fine too. And the mega good news: my blood pressure was bang on perfecto! 120/70. That’s how I roll! Winning!

That’s all folks!

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