When i die…

ripWent to my great uncle Charles’s funeral on Saturday.
What a sad day it was too.
Makes you think about death a little: funerals.
He died of cancer.
He fought cancer for 15 long years.
That’s a mighty battle.
He died aged 82.
He had a cool life.
He greatly influenced my life too.
I am what I am, in large part, because of him.

At the end he was told; “This is it. No coming back from this.”

I was told he replied, “Oh well, I gave it my best shot.”
Good man!

The day before he died his daughter came in to see him. He said to her:
“Mothers waiting.”
“No, Mum will be along shortly.”
And he said,
“No no, my mother is waiting for me. Just around the corner.”
Spiritually deep that is.
When I die, I hope I see the light. That would be fun!

When I die I want to die peacefully. I don’t want to die being scared. Everyone dies. Everyone without exception dies. I will die. You will die too. That is inevitable. Normal. Nothing unnatural about dieing, so there should be no need to be scared.

I’m not talking about what happens after I die. Is there something after death? That’s irrelevant for this conversation. Today I’m just gonna talk about my state of mind when I die.

When I die I want to die peacefully, free of worry, and hassle, and guilt, and regret. But most of all I want to die without being scared.

I had some panic attacks in 2012. Horrible things. I had these wild feelings that I was doomed, that I was going to die imminently. It was horrific, absolutely terrifying. And I had no idea why I was so petrified, panicked and scared $hitless… but it was not fun at all: Fear.

When I die I want to die with a smile on my face. I would like my friends to come round and say goodbye too. Shed a tear or two, but come around and re-live some of the fun things we did. Hold my hand. Feel the energy.

If I am scared $hitless, meeting other people would not be possible.

Not sure how I am gonna go peacefully, but I will give it my best shot. I have 57 years to go until I’m 100 years old. Plenty of time to prepare.
And if I die earlier than that, well, I gave it my best shot.

Sorry for the morbid thoughts, but I’m just thinking aloud. Funerals. No death-wish here, more a life-wish.

My chelation round went fine. I will update you that soon enough.

That’s all folks!

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