Ok. Finished now. I did 40 days in the end. That is the maximum time permitted by the creator of the Master Cleanse; Stanley Burroughs. It was also the maximum time permitted in my head. Thank funk its over! 40 days fasting. No food for 40 days! What was I thinking! Holy cow the last 10 days dragged on for what felt like a year! The actual physical fasting process was fine, but mentally it was tough. I was bored witless and missed the social aspect of having a life! You forget but meal times are a very social part of our lives. We plan our business days with our colleagues. We catch up with our wife’s and kid’s lives; hear what they’ve been doing all day. And I missed all that. So thank funk I can re-enter society, get down with the kids in the street again and be normal.
And, I have to say the last 10 days where tough-ish too. That’s days 30 thro to 40. I mean, I can handle it, I have handled considerably worse, but I was tired and drained of energy, piles hurt like buggery, my mouth tasted disgusting 24 hours a day. The gunk on my tongue was turbo-gross. No yoga was possible. And, as I have already said, I was bored and missing the world. So, 40 days is done and dusted and now I can retake my place in our world. It’s very nice to be back!
Just a note before I discuss breaking the fast. When I finished the fast, I was still very much in the detox mode. Full steam ahead in fact. All those things I was complaining about, piles, furry tongue, no energy, grumpy; these are all great big signs and signals that the grand detox was not finished, and that I should have continued fasting to be rid of every last speck of crud. A clean body will not have those issues. But, fuck me, 40 days is enough! That’s a long time and I was skinny as fuck. I weight myself on the 43rd day when I was about to re-introduce solid grub and I weighed in at…da da da da daaaa….57kg for a grand total loss of 9kg. That’s 20 pounds, or 1.4 stones. I was uncomfortably skeletal at the end. Too thin to my mind. Not sure I’d really like to go ‘concentration-camp-skinny’ again. For sure someone would have to have been hunted down and prosecuted to the ends of the earth if I’d been found by the authorities in this state! (I have regained 6kg in the last 10 days, so its all coming back on no probs).
I did the three days gradual build up to solid food as per instructions. Day one was OJ only. That was fine. OJ tasted amazing. Day two and three the OJ tasted horrible. The broth I made tasted nasty too. The smell of it made me gag and I felt pretty nauseous and uncomfortable those two days. Again yet more signals that my detoxing was powering away whether I liked it or not, whether I was finished the fast, or not.
On the 3rd day evening, I tried some brown rice, with a simple tomato and kidney beam sauce: and heaven arrived to take away the nausea and horridness. What I needed was solids…and solids tasted amazing, wonderful, and sexy! Every mouth full tasted like good sex! I had that kinda smug satisfied smile on my face too.
Next day I discovered what $hitting out a brick sideways felt like. Bloody piles did NOT appreciate the re-introduction of fiber into my diet and my first few days dumps where spent making silent screams in trap three. Not much fun to be honest.
Day after that oedema arrived. Legs swollen up like a bitch. Didn’t hurt too much, but together with the sideways bricks, it was not the triumphant return to solid food that I’d envisaged. Bricks lasted 4 days. Oedema lasted 10 days. Also had no extra energy for yoga practices and I was very much in take care of myself mode.
All food tastes A-MA-ZING!!!! I treated myself with turbo-healthy food; very posh Ottolenghi and Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall style meals: all starters, mains and deserts with fluffy flowery bits. Very health, all freshly made food of the gods. 95pct vegetarian meals. Today is day 10 after I restarted solids and my appetite remains huge. I can eat a full meal, starter, main and desert – and then I could eat the same again. I feel full, but the urge to stop eating never arrives. I am always hungry. So I have had to be very careful and limit my meals so that I do not over-eat. Seriously I could just east and eat and eat, then eat some more. I have to be aware and be careful that my body does not overindulge. It is trying to make up for 40 days lost time. I am actually in rebuilding mode. Every meal is a rebuild. Like lego.
The oedema may have been because I ate too much on re-introdcution? I was VERY hungry. Or it may have been because I was deep in the detox zone when the fast finished. I will never know for sure. Could be either.
Stop press! In fact I just had an appointment with the famous Muscle Tester Dude, Simon King. His opinion and testing was that it was just the end of the fast and the detox continuing. I was DEEP in the detox zone when I broke the fast, so that confirms my feelings about it. He said it could have been a kidney things, but not necessarily.
And NO – this is not an excuse to avoid the Master Cleanse. It is actually a signal that I need to do it again. As the title of this blog entry states: Unfinished business! Yes, I’m gonna have to do this again. Oh man! Fuffffffffffffffff! All the detox reactions mean it needs repeating. The end of the detox road is supposed to be when the tongue clears up and goes clean for 24 hours. After 40 days I was still very dirty in the tongue zone. The after-fast detox reactions also confirm I have more to get out.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
In my two master cleanses attempts I have done 25 days and 40 days respectively, to make a grand total of 65 days fasting. I just read Tom Woloshyn’s book, The Complete Master Cleanse. Good book, worth the price of admission. In it he said some people need 100 days fasting to get everything out. So…it’s all normal. I am normal! Phew! And…why would it be short and easy for me?!?!?! It’s a much better story if its funky, tricky, difficult, annoying and painful in the arse region! LOL. I have had cool results. Really cool results; but they could be, can be, will be – better after the next round. When is that? Not sure, but not soon. I fasted 40 days and I think I need to rebuild myself again. That will take 40 days. And my diary is full. I got loads of things happening, life is busy. My birthday is coming. Holidays in Grand Canaria in April…so maybe in May when I am back from holiday. Time will tell!
Boys in the office need to see me break-bread with them again too, they do worry about me! Ohhhhh! The pussies! One of the lads is doing a three day juice fast. I guess he was inspired by my fasting, LOL. He started today. Gosh he made a huge song and dance about it all. Oh, he was so hungry. Twat! He’s only had two juices in 6 hours! No wonder he was hungry, but he was too tough to walk 2 minutes to the Pret on the corner to get a juice. Total amateur! But, at least he is making the effort, so good on him.
Anyways, that’s enough for today. When I have fully reintegrated my body to food, when I have returned to an even keel, when the detox reactions disappear, when I can see clearly again – then I will map out all that changed and what’s got better or worse. No point in doing that until I exit detox mode. That’ll be called ‘The results are in!’
It may sound all rather melodramatic, but my life continues as per normal. I still work in the city. I still do cool things and live a very normal pain-free life. Just the in-between bits I continue to make efforts to be as healthful as possible:-)
That’s all folks!