I have news, exciting news. I’ll get to my health a bit later, everything’s cool, but the big news is: I have jacked the city job! And retired to the country! It’s the good life for me! Hooray! It’s been a while since I updated my blog, but I’ve been busy. Busy in the office and busy plotting, planning and scheming my exit from my city life. Wowza, that took balls! I couldn’t really say anything here on the blog, just in case someone from my office got word. I’m only 46 years old and it was a top secret, mission impossible style exit, carefully planned for a smooth retreat, but alas there where explosions at the end. But the deed is done, I have resigned from my city job of 27 years, received my last pay check, collected my P45, and handed back my mobile phone. Great big life changing decisions have been made and I am gone. Thank you so much. It was fun. Great fun too, but now I get my life back. Back for myself. No longer will I prostrate myself at the feet of every Tom, Dick and Harry! No longer will I arise at 445am and stagger home at 8pm. Thank you city and goodbye.
Not sure where life will take me, but for now, I’m a country bumpkin. I have moved the family out to the peace, quiet and tranquillity of the English countryside in Suffolk. Castles, gently rolling hills, apples, pears, welly boots, wild pheasants, grouse and deer, sailing boats and drinking warm beer in jugs is the life for me now. Kids have switched schools and after two weeks have settled in, made friends and are all cool.
Why have I done this? Why have I left a perfectly good job and career? It was great fun, and I was the boss too. There are many reasons, but this is one of the main ones:
When my health crashed with mercury poisoning back in 2007 I battled like a mad man. I battled to sort out all the many health problems mercury inflicted. I battled to keep my marriage in one piece, and I battled to keep my job. A job that I loved and was very good at. I started in the city at the tender age of nineteen. By my late thirties all I knew was my city life and to see it flushing away with mercury poisoning was a powerful incentive to pull my finger out and sort myself out. It was a long battle and I worked through the lot. Prior to me figuring out mercury was The Problem, I’d had eight years of misery with the mother-of-all-bad-backs and digestive issues from hell. When my health fully crashed in 2007 with un-safe amalgam removal, I was a man-down being repeatedly kicked-in-the-balls.
During the worst of it, for five years from 2005 until 2009, I wished every single day that I could go, to vanish, to leave, to retreat, to hide somewhere warm and dark, to go where no man has gone before, to just be by myself, to lick my wounds in peace and quiet. Back then I was so ill it was just a distant fantasy. Every day for five long pain ridden years as I struggled in to the office. But, I didn’t go. I battled on, and on, and on. I never gave up. I had just enough strength to keep fighting and I eventually made it back to the land of the living. But it was a hard old road. Very hard. All those days and years of wishing I could escape, I promised myself that if I ever got better, if I could ever lead a normal life again, that I’d leave my city job at the very first opportunity. Without a backwards glance I’d retreat to the country and live a civilised, calm, tranquil life doing all the things I wanted to do, when I wanted to do them. With all the trouble I had to go through to recover, that promise to myself never dimmed, never went away, not for a nano-fucking-second.
My city friends, colleagues and clients have no idea what I’ve had to do to get where I am today, but you guys do, and I wanted to share this with you. I’m out. It’s important to know that recovery is possible. That happy times are possible again even when all seems lost. We can live our dreams. It’s a hard road, but success is there for the taking if we put our minds to it.
During all the exit-planning one of the guys helping me wanted to see if I was serious or not. I think my answers speak for themselves:
Life Planning – Question 1
Imagine you are totally financially secure, that you have enough money to take care of all your needs, now and in the future. The question is…how would you like to live your life? What would you do with you money? Would you change anything? Let yourself go. Don’t hold back on your dreams. Describe a life that is complete:
House in the countryside. Not open countryside in the middle of nowhere, but more outskirts of a village. Big garden with always something to do. Two to four acres would be wonderful. That’s the fun thing with gardening, there is always something to do, and I like gardening. I love being outside, pottering about, making my environment, my space, my world beautiful. I currently live in a beautiful house and garden now and I would like to continue to do so in the future, I just need a bigger garden.
Garden project would be awesome. Design and build a nice big garden for us to live in and take care of.
Kids in a good school: goes without saying.
Join a sailing club and go sailing. Nothing big or flash. I was taught in little boats and that’s fine. No £100k beasts, more 5-10k pottering about in the backwaters is fine by me.
Learn to play golf. Join a golf club, but maybe not essential to join as I can’t see myself as playing golf 3 or 4 times a week, but maybe, you never know.
Time for reading loads of books.
Time to finish my second book.
Time to write a 3rd book.
Time to watch movies.
Time to play computer games.
Basically time to myself to do as I wish.
Time to take care of myself: I would love 1.5 hours per day, every day, to myself to do : yoga, meditation or some type of physical exercise. I’m not a gym man. If I have the energy for the gym, I will do yoga as I massively prefer yoga to all other forms of exercise. Yoga agrees with me greatly.
Go on yoga retreats/holidays.
Be a bigger part of family life. See the wife more. See Felix and Lily more. Go watch Felix play cricket and football at school. Go watch Lily play Lacrosse, netball, rounders and tennis. (They 7 and 14 now! How time flies!)
Go on holiday around the world to cool and funky places.
House swap with someone in the school holidays.
Let the house out for two months in the summer holidays and go to somewhere hot to chill: France, Italy, Caribbean, anywhere hot and different.
Make new friends and hang out with them.
Keep my Porsche. Or better still, upgrade the Porsche to a newer one.
Have a cool project to do: build a kit car?
Become a better cook.
What else? ? ? Nice house, nice garden, time to yoga/meditate, time to read, time to write, time to watch films, time with the kids, plus 100pct will need a hobby: golf and sailing and whatever else comes along that is sociable. I have spent my whole life speaking daily to loads different people; I will need that to continue. I mean, I will not be hiding away on my own, so I’ll need friends too.
Life Planning Question 2
This time you visit your doctor who tells you that you have 5-10 years to live. The good part is that you won’t ever feel sick. The bad news is that you will have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining to live? Will it change your life and how will you do it?
Hahaha. Nice question. This is easy tho. Exactly the same as above in question 1…but I would jack-the-job immediately. No hesitation there, I’ve done more than enough working in my life and if I leave, someone else will just step up and take my place. No one will really give a toss – the world will continue to turn in my absence.
Yeah…thought about it some more….and, same as question 1.
Life Planning – question 3
This time your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have one day left to live. Concentrate on the feelings you have as you confront your very real morality. Ask yourself:
What dreams will be left unfulfilled?
What do I wish I had finished or had been?
What do I wish I had done?
What did I miss?
Wow, heavy duty $hit going down on these questions! What dreams unfulfilled? Ummmm. In my job I am a broker, a middle man, well paid, but still an in-betweener taking my little slice of the action. I am a servant, I serve others, I am always at the beck and call of others, and my success in my work-place depends on other people. I do my job, I get my just-deserves, but my destiny is always in the hands of others. Many of my clients are extremely nice people, but I have just as many that are complete turbo-arseholes. I have a feeling my destiny/wellbeing/success is always down to other people. If I died tomorrow, I’d feel like I’d been a servant my whole life, 27 years city life, and never had the chance to control my own destiny. So I would be disappointed I’d never really had the time to do the things that I’d like to do MYSELF.
My life is not my own.
Life is not just about working.
There are so many cool things to do in this world, not just the same old city job.
So, my regret, if I was to die tomorrow, would be that I spent 27 years working and I had no fun time to myself at the end. Gutted. After 27 years work, I should have 27 years doing the things I wanna do.
I should be clear: I am painting a bleak picture of my job here. That’s bullshit. I have an awesome job. Fun, rewarding, interesting, challenging and pays great. And I’m the boss. I work with some fucking awesome people too. And my 27 years city life have been great. The only thing that’s been shitte is my health. My poor health has dominated and overshadowed my cool job. My ill health has changed me, forced me to change, to open up, look around, wake up and smell the roses, to go down avenues a normal city chap would not explore. I was forced to ‘explore’ in my quest for better health, and what I found was a heck of a lot of other cool and funky things to do, see, experience and learn about. There is more to life than just work. I am no longer simply a city boy. Today my knowledge and interests stretch far away, right out into the distance. I need time to practice all my newfound hobbies and skills. I repeat: I am more than just a city boy now. Now my eyes have been opened, I’d like to have the time to do my own thang. If I have to sell the Porsche…so be it.
What do I wish I had finished or had been?
Would have been nice to have finished my chelation.
Can’t think of anything else unfinished.
Anything else I’d liked to have been? No, I am a city chap through and through. That’s been me for the past 27 years. A rich and full life it’s been too. But, there are plenty of other cool things to be and to become tomorrow.
What do I wish I had done?
Done? I’ve done loads of cool things, so I don’t feel I’ve missed things. I’ve had a fucking cool life, even counting the crappy poor health years.
What did I miss?
Don’t miss anything, except 12 hours of each day which was dedicated to my job, which was fun, and rewarding, and sociable, and great. But there are lots of other things I can do with my time; now that I’ve changed. I feel there is so much more depth to me now. It’s time for a change in lifes direction.
Really feels like a crossroads for me today. After 27 years of hard-city-work, I think its time for 27 years of chillout-me-time. 27 years from now, I will be 75 years old. Back in 2007 when I got so terribly sick from mercury poisoning, I thought I’d die horribly, miserably, soon and alone. Last year on September 19th 2014, I went to the funeral of one of my clients. I was supposed to have lunch with him the day before; instead I went to his funeral. I called his office to confirm we were still on for lunch, and they told me he was not gonna make it, that he’d died a few days ago. Heart aneurysm: boom, gone, done. He was 45 years old. The same age as me at the time. That’s fucked up. The vast majority of his life was dedicated to work, which I am sure was fun and rewarding and everything, but still, what a $hit way to go.
End of Questions.
It’s time for a change. We are starting here and now. I’m excited. Luckily my family are excited too and are coming along with me. I wonder where life is gonna take me now?
What am I going to do next? Now that I have jacked the city job? There are loads of things to do in life. I got longs lists of cool and fun things to get my teeth into. And that will be the topic of another blog post, but you get a pretty good idea from reading the above, although only the simple things. Big budget items are off the menu forever as of today.
How’s my health? It’s fine. Best for 15 years. I still have to finish my chelation, I still have mercury in me, I still get hassles, but for now I only have minor hassles. I will detail in another blog entry later, but I’m still up to all the funky stuff I usually do. I just started my 6th Master Cleanse, day five today, which will take me over one hundred days fasting in two years. These fasts have been amazing and they are the major reason for my best health in 15 years. Anyways, for now I’m living the dream.
That’s all folks!