I was doing great up to about fourteen weeks ago, and then out of the blue any exercise became impossible. I just didn’t have the energy or drive. Also my dodgy knee was just not healing at all. Nine months that baby has been playing up without a glimmer of recovery. I went to see a few health practitioners and they all discovered something different wrong. One found my body was not recognising water: just passing on through. He corrected that and gave me some acupressure points to massage to make it stick. He also found my digestion doing funky things and gave me more acupressure points to massage. Someone else fine-tuned my supplements, a little more of this, a little less of that. Another chap found I was massively deficient in calcium. He advised a green juice as well as calcium supplements. All of this advice turned out to be correct and I definitely felt better. But something was still out of kilter because I felt drained.
I have news, exciting news. I’ll get to my health a bit later, everything’s cool, but the big news is: I have jacked the city job! And retired to the country! It’s the good life for me! Hooray! It’s been a while since I updated my blog, but I’ve been busy. Busy in the office and busy plotting, planning and scheming my exit from my city life. Wowza, that took balls! I couldn’t really say anything here on the blog, just in case someone from my office got word. I’m only 46 years old and it was a top secret, mission impossible style exit, carefully planned for a smooth retreat, but alas there where explosions at the end. But the deed is done, I have resigned from my city job of 27 years, received my last pay check, collected my P45, and handed back my mobile phone. Great big life changing decisions have been made and I am gone. Thank you so much. It was fun. Great fun too, but now I get my life back. Back for myself. No longer will I prostrate myself at the feet of every Tom, Dick and Harry! No longer will I arise at 445am and stagger home at 8pm. Thank you city and goodbye.
Well, first up my tinnitus: Gone! Cured! Healed! Vanished! Boom, that’s how I roll! Winning. Awesome and happy dayz! I have my muscle tester lady to thank for this glorious success. She tested me and suggested something called Tissue Salts, as made/discovered by a Dr Schuessler. I’d never heard of him. Old skool chap, he died way back in 1898. It is a combination of twelve essential minerals that people commonly lack, like Calcium, Iron, Potassium and others. It’s a homeopathic remedy.
As usual with me, it was a funky roller coaster ride of pain and hassle before I got out the other side whereupon the tinnitus disappeared. I actually have a terrible history with homeopathic remedies: they always blow my head off. Always way too strong and I generally avoid them like the plague. But this muscle tester lady has been pretty excellent this year, so I thought I give it a bash. She proscribed one pill twice a day.
Master Cleanse Day 6 & 7: Good mornings, less good evenings. Both days I got up, did the salt water flush(SWF), did a 30 minute meditation, then did an hours hot yoga down at the local Yoga hall. What a lovely way to start the day! Apart from the SWF. That’s the first time in ten months I have practiced yoga. I took it real easy. And I mean REAL easy. Ten month layoff, SWF, fasting – yes I did it dead calm, but then Bikram yoga is relatively calm compared to the ashtanga form I am used to. Anyways, loved it. Happy dayz. Amazing you can do during these fasts.
Afternoons on both days I got a headache the forced me to retreat to the TV. I just hunkered up, drank masses of water and MC drink and rode out the storm. That’s all it is, some nasty toxin coming out. On the seventh day evening the headache got too much. Didn’t matter how much water I drank, headache wouldn’t shift. So I did an additional SWF in the evening. It didn’t create a big full flush, but the headache subsided by the time I finished watching the last episode of The Walking Dead, series II, and I crashed to bed. A very average TV series by the way. Breaking Bad was fifty million times better.
I finished my 80th chelation round a couple of week ago. That’s five rounds since the long-chelation-break. Everything is cool and normal with the chelation. Recovery during the redistribution days takes four annoying days where I feel a little frazzled and jittery. But this is normal, it’s not too rough and life is manageable.
I have reduced my dose from 5mgs to 4mgs ALA. I could not chelate at higher doses. I know others put up with some heavy side-effects thinking it normal, but I believe big side-effects mean the dose is too high; hence why I chelate at tolerable levels – for me. Chelation is a long term thing and no point frying yourself with too high chelator doses. Working five days week combined with chelation also dictate that I make my rounds as comfortable as possible.
Life: How is it today? I am 45 years old now and life continues on as per normal. I still work in the city. I still have my wife and my family. I still do and enjoy all the things life brings, as I have for the last six or seven years. I am a million miles away from the heavy-metal-health-crash back in 2007, but I still have a few health issues, good months and less-good months. But work-life and home-life remain fine and easily do-able. To the outside world I look and act normal; my colleagues still have no idea of the fun and games I get up to in my spare time. He he!
Apologies for not blogging a little more frequently recently. Thanks for the emails checking in on me. My excuses are: I am super-busy at work, busy at home, busy in the garden, busy getting on with life, my laptop broke, and I have started writing my second novel which sucks up masses of time. Very exciting too!! Sci-Fi this time. No more health experiences. Enough is enough. But thinking about it honestly, the real reason I have not written more is because my last Master Cleanse was crappy and was definitely two steps back. Which is frustrating and annoying. I don’t really want to off-load my woes on to others. I much prefer my posts to be positive, encouraging and helpful.
Ok. Finished now. I did 40 days in the end. That is the maximum time permitted by the creator of the Master Cleanse; Stanley Burroughs. It was also the maximum time permitted in my head. Thank funk its over! 40 days fasting. No food for 40 days! What was I thinking! Holy cow the last 10 days dragged on for what felt like a year! The actual physical fasting process was fine, but mentally it was tough. I was bored witless and missed the social aspect of having a life! You forget but meal times are a very social part of our lives. We plan our business days with our colleagues. We catch up with our wife’s and kid’s lives; hear what they’ve been doing all day. And I missed all that. So thank funk I can re-enter society, get down with the kids in the street again and be normal.
And, I have to say the last 10 days where tough-ish too. That’s days 30 thro to 40. I mean, I can handle it, I have handled considerably worse, but I was tired and drained of energy, piles hurt like buggery, my mouth tasted disgusting 24 hours a day. The gunk on my tongue was turbo-gross. No yoga was possible. And, as I have already said, I was bored and missing the world. So, 40 days is done and dusted and now I can retake my place in our world. It’s very nice to be back!
Day 33 – 5th Feb 2014
Oooooooooooouch! Today was crappy. Farmer Giles arrived today. Or I should say one whooper came to town. Big as a gobstopper. Fucking massive and it fucking hurts. Reminds me what fun this is. Reminds me what this is all about: getting the toxins out! No reason to panic, no, no. No need to rush to any doctors, everything is mentally under-control. Piles only come to town when I have bucket loads of toxins coming out. And don’t last that long usually: a week maybe? Hopefully. So I’m actually happy. Happy they are exiting. But it bloody hurts. Oooooouch!
Ok, it doesn’t that hurt much. Not like breaking a leg, or cutting yourself deep, or banging your head on the overhead fan in the kitchen. Hurts like having huge marbles stuffed in your ring. I’m mincing around the office, wincing and trying to hide it. Makes you think about bum cancer too. Bloody hemorrhoids. It is complicated by dumping 5-10 times a day too. Not wildly pleasant, but I have found one of the few benefits of not having a solid for 33 days! Nice! Talking of BM’s: I still got heaps of weird algae flushing out. Where the hell does it come from? Day 33 and it’s still steaming out. Tongue remains thickly coated in gunk. I am brushing three times a day but the fluff and taste is awful.
Another day in paradise!
Ok, Day 28 of the MC today. The actual fasting remains as is. I drink the MC drink and everything is cool. I’m not hungry, detox reactions are mild and life continues on as per normal: office and home life are both fine and dandy. But I have to admit: I am missing the social side of eating. I don’t miss the food itself, but I miss the process of getting out the office, finding somewhere to get lunch, sitting down and enjoying the food, and importantly enjoying the company too. There is always something to talk about when eating, be it a colleague or family…and I miss it. It’s kinda boring not mingling with people at meal times. And sitting with people while they eat is not much fun at all. It’s do-able, but I’d rather not.
This is my 2nd Master Cleanse experience. Eighteen days fasting so far and all going pretty much as expected. I have good days and less good days, but overall it is a similar experience to my first MC: pretty easy with the usual mild detox reactions happening. Hunger is not a problem, although I have definitely felt mildly more hungry than last time. Days eight through to twelve were a little trickier: I was a bit hungry and irritable. Day eleven was a bit funky. I mean wildly angry, ears burning, face red with swear words flying left, right and centre! The anger just rose up out of nowhere. Got into a right little strop I did. Had to leave the house and go for a long calming walk in the freezing cold January drizzle. That calmed me down. Unpleasant really, but all the time I knew it was some horrid toxin leaving me. Better out than in!
I had a great plan to minimise my weight loss during the fast. Adding more maple syrup to the MC drink. Losing weight is the opposite of what I need. It is actually one of the main factors in determining when I stop the fast. I don’t want to lose any weight at all. But this was never about weight loss; this was always about the detox. I start the fast at 66kg. Today I am down at 61.5kg. A drop of 4.5 kg in eighteen days: I am not very happy about that. That plan failed! I am very skinny. But, fuck it, as I just said: this is about the detox and this MC works wonders for me overall. I will regain most or all of the weight after the fast in any case, so I am not worried about that it in the long term. I must say I do not like being so skinny. Reminds me of when I was turbo-sick and my whole world fell apart.
I holidayed in France this year. I brought back a gorgeous hunk of French cheese called Beaufort. Lovely stuff made from raw milk. I have been saving it as a treat after the fast broke. It’s been sitting in the fridge for six weeks, taunting me. Last night I reverently prepared a snack board after my evening meal. Walnuts, almonds, pumpkin seeds, prunes, fresh figs, fresh plums, some of the French raw cheese and a little dollop of honey, all arranged artistically on a wooden board. Jamie Olivier would have been proud!
I sat down, had a good sniff, I do like to have a good sniff of my food, and was completely non-plus-ed with the cheese. How odd! I ate the nuts and seeds and saved the best bit until last: the cheese…and was totally not-impressed, nor blown away: just disappointed. The cheese tasted ok-ish, but the other ingredients on the plate tasted much better. All the veggie meals I have eaten since I broke the fast have all tasted oh-so much better than this let-down-of-a-cheese.
How gutting is that! My cheese fetish has been crushed! Before the fast I was almost a cheese-aholic! I suppose this is a good thing. I guess it means I am more in balance now, with no/fewer nutritional deficiencies. I guess my calcium levels are in balance. I am happy about that, very happy indeed, but I’m sad at the loss of my love for cheeeeeeeeese! Oh no!!
My palette and diet have changed dramatically since I finished the Master Cleanse fast. All the meals I eat taste just amazing. Totally wonderful. Even simple foods blow my mind with their zingy yummy-ness. When I first broke the fast it was almost orgasmic! Two weeks later and now I just greatly appreciate and enjoy each meal, but much more so than before. Not sure how long this will last, but it is lovely to be so enjoying my foods. It feels like my digestion, my sense of taste and smell have been re-set. Re-set back to ground zero. Re-set back to a baby level. Difficult to describe, but: fresh, clear and clean: balanced with no cravings.
I not longer desire meat either. I used to eat quite a lot of organic meat, but the taste for it has evaporated. I have tried a little lamb and chicken but it did nothing for me and I am consequently avoiding meat…and I’m loving the veggies in a BIG BIG way. How odd! So, yeah, it seems I am going veggie. A vegetarian! Ohhhh man! Didn’t expect that! But the veggie meals I am eating taste wonderful, and I don’t fancy meat at all.
Ok, I’m not really going totally veggie, that would too wild, just minimising the meat. My wife cooked a chicken coconut curry last night and I only had one piece of meat, not my usual three.
The fast involved only drinking lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. Now I crave lemons! I have been squeezing lemon juice everywhere! Almost everything I eat has a good squidge of the stuff all over. I am also spicing my food a lot more than before. I have been eating whole chillies!! And enjoying it massively! I guess that’s from eating all that cayenne pepper every day during the fast. Very good for you that stuff: gets things moving!
I feel stronger now. Physically stronger. Energy has returned. Fatigue has re-treated. I noticed the strength return when I was shaking that damn thermometer down. I have much more force in my arms and it’s no problem shaking the thing down. It’s the odd little things like that that bring a smile to my face: such a bonus to realise life is returning to normality.
My temps are perfect. I just took them daily for five days in a row and everything was 36.7: bang on! Amazing eh!
Restarting my yoga practice really is the major turnaround for me. It is my icing on my cake. When I consider my health, being able to workout about defines good health to me. With the workouts I am strengthening my body as well as cleansing it. Yoga also has a wonder effect of calming the mind too. I always feel refreshed and energised after my practice.
I am practicing daily now. I am very much an all-or-nothing kinda chap. Not really into half measures. Obviously after two years of ill-health and fatigue, my poor old body is creaking from inactivity. I am not as young as I was either. But I am taking my time, taking things nice and easy, gently easing myself back into the old routine of exercise. I am stiff and in-flexible, but I know the flexibility will return with regular practice. If I practice my yoga 6-7 times a week, I don’t need to push myself hard at all. Strength and flexibility will naturally return given the regularity of daily practice. There is no rush. Daily practice makes returning health fairly easy. The only discipline required is hauling my arse out of bed at 5am each morning! At the moment I’m in the mode, excited and raring to go, so it’s easy.
I have done a lot of yoga in the past and once I get into the routine of getting up at 5am, it quickly becomes second nature – provided I am actually strong enough to do the work outs. It seems I have the energy right now. In the past, sometimes yoga practice has been an uphill battle as my poor injured body couldn’t handle the physicality of it. Now, today, although I am unfit from inactivity, I have none of the aches and pains that I usually associate with restarting workouts. That can only be a good thing. That Master Cleanse has cleaned out some old long forgotten, long hidden crap. Now my body works better than it has for many a year. I have no idea how long this will last? Who knows eh, but I like to make hay while the sun shines. Sun is shining right now so I have to make the most of it while I can: practice daily and get strong again.
I have already been asked when I will be restarting chelation! LOL. Thanks Terry! Never a spare moment eh! But I will take it easy with chelation. First thing I need to do is enjoy my new-found better health. These last couple of years have been difficult. Next I have to get strong again. Two years of weary inactivity takes it toll and it will take months to regain power. The fatigue I have just got rid of was directly caused by some chelation rounds. So when I restart chelation I want to be as strong as possible. I am still rebuilding after the fast anyways. I didn’t eat for 28 days. I lost 6kg in that time and it will take 28 days to regain the weight I lost. It’s been two weeks since I broke the fast – I have put on 3kg.
Current plan is: two weeks Humaworm liver herbs, two weeks off. Then two more weeks liver herbs. I will sneak in one or two more liver flushes too, but not decided when. Probably in the middle of the two weeks off period. I will Master cleanse for sure again in January. Not sure yet what I will do inbetween the liver herbs and the MC, because there will be 6 weeks gap to fill. Time will tell, but I am not gonna try chelation until I am stronger. Remember I still have things to sort out. Liver is still congested. Suddenly my back aches a little. I am much better, but still things need sorting out.
But I have made smashing progress here with the Master Cleanse. I am amazed. I am so glad that I actually took the time to write all down too. To map out all the problems I had before the fast. Then afterwards to review each problem and see what change has actually happened. When I write it out in black and white, detailing exactly what’s got better: it’s pretty stunning. Sometimes you just get on with life and forget what ached yesterday. But to see in writing all the things that have change for the better is a pretty cool thing. Happy dayz! Success.
Why? Did I do the Master Cleanse in the first place? I have been thinking about this? Why did I suddenly embark on the fast? Well, my fatigue would not go away. My thyroid seemed ok. My adrenals only slightly out. Vit D was a problem, but less of a problem now. I just came to understand I also had problems with my B-vits. I researched this is some detail thinking that was my next port of call in getting rid of the fatigue. Two months I spent reading about gene testing, active B12 therapy and methylation. Fuck! That methylation is a completed boat-load of incomprehensible crap. I got frustrated because it was so difficult to understand. I couldn’t see an easy path to learning about and understanding methylation.
So I got to thinking. What I really needed was something that ignored all the complexities, something simple, that went to the root of that matter and just cured everything. What could I do? Eventually I remembered fasting was supposed to do just that: cure everything. So I researched fasting, came across the Master Cleanse, researched that in some detail too – and the rest is history.
And there you have it. The reason I did the Master cleanse was because I was frustrated at my inability to grasp methylation. Funny old world eh!
That’s all folks!
PS: Respect and good luck to Anthony and family for making a new life and going for it in USA. Hope your dreams come true. XXX
PPS. And Good luck to Steven who is thinking about following in my footsteps and doing a Master Cleanse. Good luck dude.
After twenty-five impressive days fasting on the Master Cleanse I will now set out all the benefits it has given me. And I must say I have some pretty cool gains here. Seriously great. Not sorted out everything, but significant steps have been taken up my ladder to better health.
After over two years being off-games with no exercise possible due to excessive fatigue, I have at last been able to re-start my beloved yoga this week. Hooray! That’s a BIG deal for me. One that I am gloriously happy about. I consider re-starting my workouts to be the very tippy-top of my wish-list. The Master Cleanse did this. Powerful stuff! My fatigue has gone!
At the start of the fast I listed out all the things I had wrong with me. Now I will go back to that list and review each problem and set out what’s changed.
1) Fatigue is the main problem. It is chronic and it will not go away: – Ummm, well, yes, I don’t want to tempt fate but the fatigue seems to have gone. Brilliant eh! I feel pretty normal now and have a normal amount of energy too. I require less sleep as well. I only need six and a half to seven hours sleep now. All of this year I have needed, and I mean NEEDED, eight hours.
2) I have very mild depression: – Gone! Boom!
3) Lab tests showed high reverse T3 (RT3) problem: – No idea what labs show now, but I took my temperatures last week and they were all bang on perfect. Happy dayz!
4) Lab tests showed I have low DHEA: – Untested.
4) I have had problems taking B-vits and B12 : Untested.
5) Chelation made the fatigue worse. Why? No idea : – Still no idea, although I blame Vit D levels.
6) Adrenals still slightly out: – Temps all level and perfect, so assume this problem is no more!
7) I have burning feet. Sole of my left foot gets horribly hot, burning hot: This disappeared completely during all 25 days of the fast. But, it seems to be coming back a little now, 10 days after I ended the fast. Not sure why. Not even sure what it is. But still, it is about 80-90 pct better that it was pre-fast. Rash on foot is 90pct better too. Dry skin on left heal is 90pct better too.
8) Blood sugar problem with some hypoglycemia an issue: It wasn’t that bad, but it was an issue and now is much less bad: about 70pct better than it was.
9) Libido low-ish: Unchanged.
10) When I get the fatigue kicking in, I get this weird grippy hand thing: Gone.
11) I cannot do any exercise. No gym. No yoga: Ha!!! Sorted! Yoga has restarted!!!! Happy dayz!!! I did three sessions last week and have done 6 practices in the last 7 days this week. I am getting up at 5am, having a one hours yoga session, then going to work. I need less sleep. This is just like the good old days and shows I have regained my mojo!!! Mega-deluxe-fantastico-coolio!
12) I have good days and bad days: Days are pretty ok at the moment. Although my shoulders hurt at little. More of that later.
13) Booze does not agree: Not tried any booze yet; untested.
14) No wheat: Not tried any yet; untested.
15) I eat a lot at each meal: I still eat a lot. I lost 6kg during the fast. Now I am rebuilding and I am eating a lot of food again. I regained 2kg in the first 7 days.
16) I have a furry tongue in the mornings upon waking: I still have the furry tongue, but it is about 80pct better than during the fast. And about 40pct better the pre-fast. That means I need to do more fasting.
17) I have just discovered I have a vitamin D deficiency: Got tested again and Vit D levels now fine. High even. That comes from the sunbathing I did on holidays, not the fasting.
18) Most nights I get up to pee once: Still getting up some night’s, but not every night, so that is an improvement.
19) I have mild carpel tunnel syndrome on my left wrist: It is better than it was, but still there. I would say 35pct better since the fast. Yoga is tricky but do-able. I must be very careful still: no sun salutations yet.
20) Ears are fine, but for some odd reason I cannot listen to loud headphone music: untested.
21) Sinus’s blocked half the time: Sorted. All clear now. This was one of the things that was greatly impeding my yoga. Clear sinus’s enable good yoga. Good news eh!
So there we have it. Pretty damn funky and cool eh! Lots of problems sorted out, or at least better. That list was the list of everything that was wrong too.
I have to say that fast was a MASSIVE success. To regain my energy, to restart my yoga, to have level temperatures at the right level, to help and resolve some of the hassles: that’s pretty damn wonderful and makes doing the fast gigantically rewarding: success always is awesome and I feel awesome too!
But it’s not over yet. Unfortunately I have to admit the fast was finished too soon. 25 days was not enough – for me and my body. Wild eh!! At the end of the fast it got pain right between my shoulder blades. This is a typical liver signal. It was quite a strong sharp pain too that has lingered all week. I didn’t have this before. My tongue also remained furry all during the fast, and afterwards too, which indicates I still have crap in me that needs exiting.
So yeah, it will need repeating. But the Master Cleanse is not a hardship. The fast was very easy to actually do and with all the benefits I have gained I am greatly looking forward to my next MC. I have pencilled in January 2014 for the next attempt.
In the meantime, because my shoulders hurt so much, I will be addressing my liver and gallbladder next. I have just done a liver flush this past weekend. You know those things with grapefruit juice, olive oil, and Epsom salts. Yeah, the thing that Cutler is against. Yes, those horrid hardcore liver flushes. I have not done one since 2007.
This time the flush went off like clockwork with no problems or hassles. Last time I did one of these beasts it took two weeks to recover from!! Hardcore indeed! Re-reading Andreas Moritz’s book, even he admits its like major surgery of the liver – but with no knives. This time I was fine the evening afterwards. All pretty straight forward for a change. Had a colonic monday night too. Never really like all those tubes and whatnot, but essential to do when liver flushing to get everything cleaned up afterwards.
I got zero gallstones out. Odd eh! Not sure what that means. I did get a load of chaff, and gunky green bile, just no stones. And I did feel better after too: warmer.
Now that’s finished I have started some Humaworm Liver herbs. These are two weeks on, two weeks off herbs. So I will do a couple of rounds, see what happens. Maybe do another flush too, depending on how I feel.
But, as you can see, things are looking up for me. Proper up too. To have banished the fatigue is a major event in my healing. I have the Master cleanse to thank for that, but I must also point out sorting out the Vit D problem was also very important too. Could not have got this better without the Vit D.
How did I sort out the Vit D decifency? I went on holiday and sun bathed a lot. Once I understood I was deficient, I went out of my why to get loads of sun. Once I had a base tan, I didn’t use suntan lotion anymore. I did more sunbathing when I got back home on the weekends. Re-tested Vit D and it came in way above what it was and right into the GREAT zone. Just two months later.
Phew! I am a busy boy. So many things done recently. Just in this one blog entry I have discussed fasting, liver flushing, liver herbs, Vit D….so many things to do!
AND… I urge all my friendly readers to do $hit. Do stuff. Do things. Experiment. Try new ideas. Because eventually you will hit pay-dirt and something, somewhere will hit the spot like a champion, hero and superstar! Then you too can get up at 5am and stand on your head! LOL.
That’s all folks!
PS. I have also made additional notes about the Master Cleanse. It will make this post too long and boring, so I will save that for another day. The title of that blog entry is gonna be: Success! Or maybe Happy Dayz! Or Major Progress Has Been Made! Or Observations Post-Master Cleanse. Or Good Health Has Returned? Undecided yet what the title will but, but you get the gist! Let the good times roll!
Sunday: Had a great day today. Took the train into London and went on an amphibious D-Day duck bus tour. Bright yellow buses that can also go on water. We cruised the river Thames! Coolio! Felix loved it. Also did the natural history museum. The huge automated T-Rex and massive blue whale they have in there are wonderful. I remember whale from my youth! Lovely day. Felix had baked potato with baked beans for Lunch. The burger from the Gourmet Burger Company was less healthy for dinner, but the only food I could find him in Kings Cross station.
The food was intoxicating.
I am starving hungry.
I want food.
I really want food.
I have pain between my shoulder blades too: more liver signals. But I can’t stop thinking about food. It started yesterday and has continued today. If this continues tomorrow, I will break the fast.
I am again hungry today. Hungry like a wolf. The desire for food is constant. The previous 24 days, if I drank the MC drink, all hunger would vanish. Today I drank my usual quota of 10-11 glasses of the MC drink and all I wanted to do was eat food.
This is my body saying enough is enough. Time to stop the fast. Sure I could continue. Sure I am strong enough to overcome these pangs, but … but that’s not how this works.
I must listen to my body.
I can hear it loud and clear.
Now is the time to stop.
I have lost a small, but significant amount of weight. I weighed in at 62kg this morning. Down 6kg in 25 days. 13 pounds that is. I feel skinny. Naked in the mirror before my morning shower I look skinny. My face is starting to look skinny. I look healthy, but no doubting it I am also skinny again.
So that’s it. I will end that fast tomorrow.
Pretty proud and amazed I managed 25 days with no food. Pretty awesome in fact. Imagine that? 25 days fasting. Wasn’t at all that difficult really. Considering the kind crap I am used to putting up with when I detox, this was easy. I would go so far as to say it was: very easy.
But, I have to say, my detoxing is not over. My tongue remains coated in fur. Every morning during the fast I awoke to fur. Some days it cleared up and I had a nice clean mouth. Some days the fur stayed 24/7. My shoulders hurt. Always a liver/gallbladder signal. My BM’s remain stinky. A clean body should not really have that kinda smell coming out of it. So, this will be my first Master Cleanse. 25 days on my first Master Cleanse is cool, but there will have to be more. I will fast another time and see if I can fast until my tongue goes clean for 24 hours. That is supposed to be the signal of cleanliness. I don’t care about the number of days. It was never a competition to do a certain number of days. It was a competition to see my tongue go clean. I have not accomplished that this time. But I got loads of toxins out, and for that I am extremely happy.
In a week or so I will do a full inventory of my problems and what the fast sorted out. At the beginning I listed out 20 problems to be sorted and I will go through them, one by one, and tell of whats better and whats not. But I can say my feet of 95pct better. Rash 95pct gone. Burning feet seem to be gone. Blocked sinus is gone. Energy? Not sure. It is better, and I don’t have that horrid out-of-breathe-walking-up-the-hill-thing. I need one hour less sleep at night. But I am still technically fasting at the moment, so I will do the full inventory once the fast is completely finished and I am eating normally again.
Returning to a normal diet will take some time. Orange juice and water are the only things I will drink tomorrow. OJ and some veggie broth on day two. OJ, broth and a light salad on day 3. I will take it real easy on the re-introduction of food. 25 days is a seriously long time and I need to chill, relax and ease back into my diet. I will go veggie and fruit only for the first week. No meat. I might have some raw cheese after day 5, but we will see how my body reacts to food over the next few days.
Day 26 – Breaking the fast: Day 1 – 10th September 2013
Holy $hit! What a horrible, horrible day! I am starving hungry. Hungry like a horse. Ravishing hungry. This is wildly intense! All I can think about is food, food, food.
Instructions on breaking the fast are: orange juice and water only on day one. No more lemon drink. I can’t believe all I have ingested today is orange juice. How can I survive on OJ only? This is mental. Amazing too, but mostly mental. Didn’t have the lax tea, nor the salt water flush either. I am gently switching my body back to solids but fuck me sideways, this is really hard.
For the past 25 days my stomach has been shut down. The lemon drink suppressed my hunger fantastically. But now, with the introduction of the the OJ, I have awakened a sleeping beast! All I can think of is food. I bought three new cook books today: A Gordon Ramsey, a Hugh Fearnley-Whitttingstall and Rick Stein’s new book: India. Looking at the pictures and reading the recipes was so mouth-watering it was painful. I had to put the books away after a while. No wonder people screw-up these fasts when they break them. The urge to eat food is unbelievable. I am having to literally hold back wild horse here. This is by far the most difficult part of the fast. Holy cow! This is incredible. The waking of the taste buds, restarting my digestion is so powerful. Today I fully understand and appreciate that my body has not had any solid food for 25 long days.
All morning I was super grumpy. Major swearing over miniature issues made my collegues laugh out loud. They urged me to pig-out with a large hamburger and drink 10 pints of larger. That’s not tempting in the slightest, but what is making my mouth water constantly is the thought of some seriously fresh, organic, flavoursome veggies. Roasted. With garlic. And spices. And rice. Oh I need fresh wholesome grub. I found this recipe with sausages, potatoes, thyme, parsnips and apple; all roasted in the oven. OMG.
How on earth am I to manage tomorrow? Day 2 of breaking the fast is: OJ, water, and some soup broth. Not proper soup, just the broth left over after boiling up veggies! And that broth is in the evening only. Another day in the office on OJ only. That’s gonne be a ’mare!
I have to say this is fairly unpleasant and I am not enjoying it at all. But it’s only a couple of days. I will just have to ‘man up’ and get on with it.
That’s all folks
Fucking eh! 20 days! Twenty days! Imagine that! 20 whole days without food. 20 days fasting. 20 days on lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. That’s wild man! Wild! And! And…I’m doing this wildness whilst I’m working in the office. In an office full of arrogant-alpha-male-city-dudes! I am pretty amazed at myself. Having the strength to do this, take all the jip in the office, and still be able to continue. I must admit I am playing it very cool in the office. Very blasé:
“Yeah man, it’s easy. No problem.
“Nope, I’m not hungry at all.
“I am amazed too. Every day is just a normal day.
“The gunk seems to provide all the energy I need.
“Nope I’m not tired either. I have enough energy to go about the day.
“Everythings totally cool man.”
The only thing I don’t tell them is the difficult $hit. And yes there are difficult bits of the day: Today I went to stock-up on organic lemons. I bought 30. I get them from Planet Organic off Tottenham Court road. (Thanks Femka, cool recommendation. Awesome shop. We can do lunch there when I break the fast). Takes 45 minutes round trip including a two stop tube journey during my lunch break. I needed an emergency pit stop in a pub toilet to have a horrible, arse wrenching, stinger of a dump. Stomach cramps lasted 15 minutes. Not much fun, but it passed, as it always passes. And some toxic crud vacated my body which can only be a good thing.
At two o’clock in the morning last night I sat on the bog for 30 minutes.
So yeah, there are odd, uncomfortable moments during the fast. It’s not all easy peasy. But overall…it is easy peasy. Considering I have not eaten solid food, nor had a sold dump for 20 days…I’d say this fast has been a breeze so far. So I’m pushing on. No end in sight yet. I’m enjoying it. I feel like I am well into the detox zone. Old lost and forgotten toxins must be being removed. I am certainly having enough BM’s: 5-10 per day. I do feel better too. Skin feels very smooth today. My burning feet problem is gone. I just realised I have not had a burning feet issue for 10-15 days. That’s why I’m pushing on. It’s easy and it’s working.
Day 20 is done. Bring on day 21!
Passed without incident. Just another day at the office.
Slept badly last night. Woke up at 3.30am and couldn’t get back to sleep. I just lay there in that twilight zone of sleep/non-sleep. Made me tired for the rest of the day. My shoulder hurt too: a liver signal. Liver must be detoxing.
Weight has dropped to 63kg (139pounds) – that’s a loss of just 5kg(11 pounds) in 22 days. Not bad, not bad at all, very happy with that, but…but I am starting to feel skinny. I am conscious and aware of this and I don’t like it. If I lose too much weight I will have to stop the fast. I don’t want or like the office commenting. I don’t want to look like skelator: it reminds me of when I was ultra sick and at my worst.
Awoke with a headache. My second headache of the fast. Waterfalls of water kept the pain at bay, but it was a sheepish morning and afternoon so I took things well easy. By the afternoon headache was gone and things returned to normal. My mate Steven from Switzerland is over to visit and stay the night at SunshineTowers. Good to have a mercury toxic mate around to chat with. He helped dig up my crop of potatoes from my veggie garden. My biggest crop ever! I now have four bags of spuds stored in the garage! Nice!
My wife cooked a Sri Lankan coconut chicken curry for dinner with wild rice and runner beans from the garden: felt like torture smelling the beautiful fresh smells and not being able to eat it. How long will I continue the master cleanse?
Day 24. 8th September 2013
Weighed in at 62kg today. Ummmm. I have lost 6kg(13 pounds) so far. Considering I have not eaten anything for twenty four whole long days…6kg is a very small amount of weight loss. 24 days is a long time to go without food. Three and a half weeks!
When I was ultra sick I lost a lot of weight. I went down to 57kg. Back then I looked proper sick. I looked horrid: skinny, pale, weak, oily and, well just really fucked up.
In contrast to now, after having lost 6kg and down to 62kg, today I actually look healthy. I am obviously thin, but not unhealthily skinny. When I look in the mirror, my face is a normal shape. Sure it is thinner, but I don’t look sick. I have a healthy glow with no saggy or droopy bits. Well, I think so anyways. If I looked like $hit the lads in the office would have made a comment. They would have said something: they are not shy when it comes to taking the piss!
But 62kg is uncomfortably low for me. It is close to the cut off zone. I guess if I get down to 60kg I will seriously consider stopping the fast. Not sure I can handle the office comments. I know its sad: to consider breaking the fast just because of what other people might think/say, but such is life. It is my life and I have to lead it. 60kg may well be the signal to break the fast. We will see. Depends on how I look. How I feel.
The thing is, this fast still has a ways to go. I am detoxing all the time and it’s not stopped. It is not time to stop yet. My tongue remains furry, my mouth chalky. The headache shows crap is exiting my temple. And my BM’s! Oh yeah, I still have loads of crap coming out. Rich, thick and stinky. No idea where it all comes from, but I still have toxins pouring out of me. The fast is working good.
The thing is, I know it will be difficult to restart another Master Cleanse. I have found this one easy. That means the second MC will be easier…and longer. Longer is difficult for work because I cannot entertain clients. I guess I will do another fast in January. January is acceptable to detox and I will be able to easily do the whole month. That’s the plan anyways.
So for now, I will try my hardest to continue for as long as possible. But when I get to 60kg, just 2kg away, I will have to take a view. My work is giant part of my life and I need to look the part.
BUT…my health takes precedence!!! So maybe I will just say; fuck it! Fuck’em all. This is me and my health and if I look a bit skinny for a couple more weeks…tough $hit. I know when I break the fast and restart eating I will regain all the weight I have lost. Yes, if I lose 6kg in 24 days, I will gain 6kg in 24 days when I restart eating again. All healthy grub, but the weight will return. It always has done on all the many other fasts I have done.
So, as you can see, I am in two minds: shall I stay or shall I go now?
Time will tell, but for today: I will continue.
Oh yeah, I have switched over to the salt water flush in the mornings. I get a better ‘clean through’ than the lax tea with no stomach cramps. I get up 15 minutes earlier @ 545am and that gives me enough time to unload and then get on the train to work. I have done the last 8 days with SWF in the mornings.
That’s all folks!
It’s the 27th August today and I’m in the zone. The detox zone. Fast is motoring along just fine. First nine days were a breeze. Day 10 kicked off with some serious detoxing with that pounder of a headache. Days 11 and 12 have been fine, but not a breeze. I have passed some kind of detox crossroads and I am detoxing more that the first nine days. I am having a little more hassle now.
Today I needed more MC drink than usual and I started running low whilst at the office. I noticed early and started rationing myself. I didn’t want to run out in the office. I got a shakes a couple of times, bad too. Hand shook like a leaf. It stopped after I drank more drink, but it happened a couple of times. Went to the bank at lunchtime and felt particularly odd and needed to take some deep calming breath to steady myself.
But it’s all manageable. I consider myself a professional when it comes to managing detox side-effects! So no big deal. Just drink tons of water and chill. To be honest with myself, I kinda like the side-effects. Shows that the fast is working and that I’m getting rid of some old crap. First nine days were so easy I wondered if any serious detoxing was gonna happen, so kinda nice to know all the effort is worth it.
My weight has stabilised at 65.5kg (144 pounds). That’s down just 2.5kg (5.5 pounds). I am extremely happy about that. Serious weight loss would make me stop the fast. Looking like skelator is not fun. Getting odd looks and comments from people in the office is, well, is not ideal!!! I have a board meeting Friday and I need to look sharp.
Otherwise I am seriously enjoying and greatly appreciating my superb nose. Clear as a bell. No obstructions, sinus clear and nose breathing is once again the norm. It may sound odd, but it’s real nice to be able to breathe normally again. A significant plus.
Moved up to three minutes for the lax tea to brew. I did have mild stomach cramps, but it was mild and no problem. You will be pleased to learn I am suitably regular; 4-5 per day. Just what you wanted to know! But it is a fast and regularity is very important.
Cayenne pepper moved dose up 100pct and that didn’t work. Stinger! But at 50pct up caused no problems. So that’s 1.5 tbs when I make my big batch in the morning.
In other non-health related news, work on the house is drawing to a close. We been having the downstairs completely renovated for the last four months. We had no TV, no music, no sitting room and no kitchen for 12 weeks. All crammed upstairs in the guest room surround by a million boxes. My music room is finished with freshly painted plastered and painted walls and a new oak floor.
Everything looks stunning, but the mega bonus is the acoustics of the room have changed significantly for the better. My Hi Fi sounds completely different. About 50 times better. I guess that’s because the new floor is better insulated and the speakers can function better. I’m just listening to a Trentemoller CD and that base is booming the funk out me!!! Gosh it sounds wonderful.
Day 14 – 29th August 2013
Must have had 10 BM’s today.
I have not had a solid dump for 14 days.
My BM’s in the morning show that I still have masses of toxins coming out. Thick sludge every day. When will it end?
Keeping regular is not a problem.
Changed cayenne pepper brands and took too much. Stinger. Again.
Lax tea – 3 minutes steeping gives me stomach cramps. 2 minutes is ok.
In the evening I had my first real hunger pangs. Food was on my mind. The smell of the local curry house was intoxicating.
Felt a bit spaced and fluffy headed in the evening too. Did a meditation for 30 minutes and felt even more spaced. That’s why todays blog entry is just a list.
My nose and sinus’s are as clear and clean as a bell: lovely.
Still working. Two of boys in the office are seriously talking about doing it too. They are amateurs and I look forward to their reactions; if they ever actually do it. Each time I go for a dump they are having a sweepstake on how long I’m gonna be gone for. Tossers! LOL, but it’s all light-hearted. Lucky I have a thick skin. I am taking the grief like a man.
Otherwise…that’s two weeks under my belt. Pretty proud of that. It’s a pretty cool achievement. This weekend will be challenging!
This weekend from Friday through to Sunday I went camping at Ben’s house just outside Poole on the south coast of England in Devon. He is turbo-loaded. Bought himself a mansion in the countryside with 22 acres of land. He keeps cattle. He has fields of barley. He has trees in his garden that must be a hundred years old they are so big. He has an orchard with 30 fruit tress: apples, pears, figs, plums and greengages. He has a large veggie garden. He has an asparagus patch. He has a gardener that tends to it! How the other half live!!
We camped on his front lawn, which is probably one or two acres large. In all there where nine families, all with kids: Ben, Leila, William, Benson, Poppy. Nick, Gill, Lola, Esmee. Andy, Sarah, Alfie. Nobby, Sarah. Jes, Anna, Daisy. Jessy. Lee. Caroline, Neil, Seb…and yes, I forgot some people too: I don’t know all the kids names. I have known this bunch of people most of my life. My friends.
We learn how to played croquet on his football pitch. Awesome game. Extremely competitive indeed! We chatted all day and basked in the sun on the lawn. Ben is in the meat trade and BBQ-ed all weekend with only the best cuts. A feast was had by all…
…except me of course! I was on this Master Cleanse! It is still easy too. No problemo. I mean, no big deal in terms of hunger. Drink the drink enough and you don’t feel hungry at all. But you do need to keep the drink ready at all times otherwise you feel the hunger coming up suddenly. I did sniff the freshly cooked food and enjoyed all the smells, but I did have to wander off when everyone was chowing down. Lovely smells!!!! I miss them. But…totally manageable, mostly.
I forget my lax tea. Ummmm. So I did the saltwater flush in the mornings instead. That worked fine. I have reclaimed full control over my bowels, so holding on a little for the one available toilet was cool. Hairy, but cool.
I had to get up four times a night to pee. That was annoying and cold.
Everyone had a wonderful time. I had a wonderful time too. The fast didn’t stop my enjoyment much, although the meat he BBQ-ed looked and smelt awesome. Ben is rearing veal on his farm. But veal the humane way. No cows force fed milk, locked in boxes unable to move. We all saw his open sheds with the bulls free to run around. They never go out into the fields, but they are in open barns with loads of fresh air. No one in our group really ate much veal before. Veal has a bad reputation over here, but after tasting his happy veal, everyone said they’d buy it and eat it. My wife said it was the best steak she’s had since we ate in the posh Bull Pen restaurant in our village.
Anyways…still fasting on the master cleanse. Everythings cool.
BP @ 1030pm : 143/89 p 54 and 2 minutes later: 136/91 p 51 – what the hell does that mean? I feel totally normal at the moment. That’s high!
Day 18. – 2nd September 2013
Had an annoying day today. Felt hunger pangs a bit. Not real hunger pangs really, more just a bit annoyed and fed up. I am starting to crave food, planning out what I’m gonna eat when I finish. I greatly look forward to going to Jamie’s Italian and eating his vegetarian platter. Yummm! I crave chillies too. I guess that’s all the cayenne pepper I am consuming. A veggie curry would be awesome too. I am gonna eat like a KING when I finish this up. And when I say KING, I mean a very healthy, food aware KING!
But my tongue remains white, day and night, so I will just have to continue as long as I can manage. I am doing this for my health, not for fun, not for a laugh, not to prove I can go 10 or 20 or 30 days. I am doing this for my health, and I need to do it properly. I don’t fast very often, so when I do fast…I should fast as long as I can comfortably handle and not pussy out because I am fed up for a day. My health takes precedence over everything.
I have today actually put a deadline in here: 20 days. That’s a nice round number. Lets see how I feel on day twenty before I break this fast.
Boys in the office are now actually quiet amazed with this adventure. They still take the piss, but they grudgingly admit it’s a pretty impressive feat to fast for 18 days. They are urging me to break the fast with 10 pints of Guinness and a BigMac!
I weighed in at 63.5kg this morning. I have lost 4.5kgs. That’s 10 pounds in 18 days. Not too much. Perfect. Don’t want to lose any weight. If I get down to 60kg I will defo finish the fast. That’s too low. I will look like skelator if I hit 60kg.
I have to admit, fasting for 18 days is pretty hardcore. Didn’t think I could go this long, but then again I didn’t know it would be this easy.
That’s all folks!
If yesterday was a ten out of ten for easiness, day 5 was a nine and a quarter. I had lunch with all the boys on my desk. They all had a three course meal. All I had was a bottle of water and a mint tea. Nice restaurant too. Food looked and smelt amazing. It was no problem, but it was a long-ish lunch and towards the end I needed some of the MC drink. I popped back to the office and did feel lighted headed and odd. Defo need to keep the drink constantly drunk religiously every one and a half hours, otherwise that happens. Oddness cleared up within 15 minutes of drinking the drink.
I also felt a little light headed in the evening, right now as I type this in fact. I guess I need more of the drink. So far I have lost just 2kg (4.4 pounds) which is ideal. This adventure is not about weight loss.
Last night was again annoying. Got up no less than four times to pee. Hummf! Got back to sleep straight away, but did feel on each occasion that a dam was about to burst.
Otherwise an uneventful day. I must say this is considerably easier than I ever thought possible. Imagine that: I have not had any food for 5 whole days and – it’s a chinch! I have juice fasted loads of times before, but fasting was never this easy. The Master Cleanse rocks! Or maybe this is the calm before the storm!!!! LOL.
Nothing out of the ordinary to report today. No storms in sight.
This morning I weighed in at 66kg, still down just 2kg since the start: perfect! I am adding more maple syrup to the drink, this is supposedly the way to reduce weight loss on the fast. If you want more weight loss, just reduce the maple syrup.
Blood pressure unchanged: 131/81 pulse 49
22nd August 2013
Dreamt about food this morning. Dreamt I was about to break the fast with a huge plate of chips. Chips as in French fries to you Yanks! A great big pile a thick fish ‘n’ chip shop chips, steaming and oozing fresh from the frier. A plate of mash potato also turned up too for some unknown reason. Looked great, but I woke up thinking: surely I shouldn’t break the fast with chips? I don’t eat them hardly ever normally! As I groggily came too, I farted, followed through, again, then sat on the throne for 20 minutes. What a wonderful way to start the day! They joys of the Master Cleanse! In fact, I spent a lot of the day on the loo today. I don’t count these things but prolly had ten dumps today. Wonderful eh!
The boys in the office are fascinated with the whole fasting experience and constantly ask how I am doing and what’s going on. They can’t believe I’m finding it so easy, that I can work a normal day, and that I still look like a normal person! One of the guys even looked it up and is considering doing it himself! Wild eh!
I have only done one salt water flush, so I thought I’d do my second this evening when I got back from the office. All went according to plan, but you do have to sit on the bog for an hour afterwards and that’s not compatible with my mornings in the week. So I will reserve them for the weekend and odd occasions like this evening. Lax tea is otherwise doing its job of keep me regular.
My tongue is a lovely furry yellow submarine yellow. That means I got lots of toxins coming out. That’s good! Stanley Burrough’s book says that a clean pink tongue for 24 hours is a good indicator that the job is done and the fast can be stopped. I guess that’s what I’m actually aiming at here. That’s the goal. I don’t get the opportunity to fast very often, nor the balls, so I figure when I do fast, that I should go for as much as I can.
Apart from that – things remain remarkably easy, simple and hassle free. I get no hunger pangs, no cravings, no nothing really. Mostly a completely normal day, apart from the multitude of BM’s.
Nothing to report yesterday on day 8, but today on day 9 I am having my first tricky day. Only mild, but I am getting my first real signs of my detox. This morning I had to go to a Bar Mitzvah at a synagogue. Never been to one of those before, very nice and all, but I couldn’t understand a word and spent two and a half hours listening to grown men sing in Hebrew. Ummm! I was stuck at the back on the pew and there is only so many times I could get up and go get my pre-mixed MC drink. I guess I didn’t drink enough because I defo felt a bit pikey: left shoulder pain and nausea. Lasted into the afternoon too. I had to keep my fluid intake super high when I got home. My mouth and teeth are all furry, white today, and I keep having the beginnings of a headache approaching, but the vast water intake is keeping it at bay.
Overall my most tricky day so far. Tricky as in feeling rough, but I’m still not hungry in the slightest.
I did the salt water flush (SWF) last night after I got home from work last night. It is very effective. Straight through cleaning my guts from the inside-out. I felt drained afterwards and went to bed very early. I did it again this morning. The water coming through is very dark and mysterious, frothy too. I just been doing some research on Curezone.com. The flush will eventually go water-clear as all the crud in me is washed out. Day 9, with and without the SWF, and my BM’s remain dark and murky. I look forward to them clearing. I wonder how long it will take? Day 9 and still full of crap!
I wonder how long I will be fasting for? I will push as long as I can, until my body says no more. The only pressure I have to stop is pressure from work. It’s a big pressure too. Anyways, lets see how long I can go on eh. Think I was will have a detox bath tonight with Epsom salts. Looked that up and seems to be acceptable on the MC.
Weight: 65kg. down 3 kgs (6.6 pounds)
My pee has gone water-white and clear now. No yellowy colour.
The skin on my face is a bit rough and dry.
Rash on my foot continues to reduce, but not gone yet.
Burning feet horribleness has massive reduced. Not gone, but mostly. That is rock n roll cool!
Energy levels the same. Not enough to exercise.
Boom! A major milestone hit! 10 BIG days on the Master Cleanse. Nice! This equals my longest fast record! Cool eh! Very happy with myself indeed. Gave myself a large pat on the back for a good job done. Today was an interesting one too: good things and bad things.
First the good: Today my sense of smell returned big-time. I been smelling all those great smells wafting by all day. The take-away curry shop. Plants in the garden smell amazing. The carrots. The apples. The curry plant is sooo strong. Bad smells too, like stinky breath. Yikeees! Please brush your teeth dude!
Anyways, I shaved in the afternoon today because I’m going out tonight for the Bar Mitzvah bash tonight. Proper party with dinner, music, dancing and whatnot. When you get to the grand old age of 44, one of the things I have to do is trim my nose hairs. I have an electric nose trimmer. Awesome little gadget. Battery powered for my convenience!
So there I was, just finished shaving and I lent in to trim the old snozzle and I couldn’t believe my eyes. There were two massive caves tunnelling into my face via my nostrils. What? I could see right up my noze. And I mean right up there. Never been able to do that before. All the skin up my nose was like new: all fresh, and pink, and clear. I guess it must have been permanently inflamed. And now, it was all reduced, and I could almost see my BRAIN. I looked! I couldn’t, but it was like looking up a dark tunnel into my head. Odd eh! And pretty damn cool. I can breathe properly today. Feels great. Nice clean, clear in-breaths via my nose. Wonderful eh!
And when I can breathe great, big deep in-breaths – That’s a great big yoga starting signal!!!! And restarting my yoga is very high on my priority list. Very high indeed. That would be super cool!
Next. The bad things: In the afternoon signs of detox started coming on strong. I didn’t have a BM in the afternoon and I could tell that wasn’t great. I was battling with the water. I was pouring it down my neck as fast as I could, but I could tell I was losing the battle. Headache was coming on. And then I had to go party. The Bar Mitzvah.
Cool party too. Met some really nice people, had a good chat, played 21 at one of the betting tables for an hour or so. At dinner I didn’t eat the food and, somehow, the incredibly polite people I was sitting with didn’t press me about why I didn’t touch a bean. I didn’t have to admit to being on a maga fast. Good. Everything was mostly under control, headache was no big deal. I’m a professional and I can handle it.
But then the music started. Pounding trance reverberated through my poor fasting body. I even hit the dance floor for half an hour and chopped up some cool shapes. Nice! However the large volumes of water were not enough to keep the detox symptoms at bay and I had nowhere to hide, and no way to escape. This was my wife and daughters friends and I had to be involved too. I eventually retreated to a quiet corner and played Kingdom Rush II on my iphone, but the damage was done.
What I really needed to do was have a dump: get the toxins out so they wouldn’t circulate around my body making me feel like crap. But I was stuck at the party and nothing was coming out my arse. Oh the joys of fasting and partying!
The massive pounding headache actually brought me to tears. Yes, hurt so much I cried. Only a few right. Just a moistening and swift wipe. Man’s tears. Nothing girly. Some really nasty $hit coming outta me to make me do that. I told myself: better out than in. That brought a wry smile, but this was a serious pounder.
Drove home through gritted teeth as every dump along the road echoed around my head. Eventually got in at 1130pm. I made a tactical decision. I figured I needed to get my bowels moving somehow. I didn’t want to wait until the morning to do the salt water flush (SWF), so I got home and did one straight up. It made for a late night, and I had work in the morning, but I needed to get toxins out of me ASAP. Not sure if this is acceptable under the rules, but it needed doing and that’s what I did.
Drink and then hit the bog after 15 minutes. Takes an hour finish up, but SWF was a success. Didn’t feel great, but the intensity did ease a little. Had a horrible nights sleep. I crawled outta bed five times to pee burning piss outta my poor old knob, all with a pounding headache.
Woke in the morning day 11 still with the groggy headache. Did another SWF and … and good news: life returned to normal. Headache retreated. Phew! Success! Thank you SWF. Good job! I will remember that trick for next time.
Oh, damn, wrote too much tonight; too long! Man, I do ramble on sometimes: sorry, but this account is mostly for me. If you got this far, congrats!
Anyways…I’m pushing on. Day 10 was the first hurdle. I will continue as far and as long as possible. The only pressure to stop is from work – and I have decided that my health takes precedence over work on this occasion.
I have decided.
What a funky day today! I’m loving the cayenne pepper. Instructions say a pinch or 1/10 of a teaspoon per glass, but I’m finding I need more! Up to ¼ tsp now per drink and it tastes wonderful! The downside is my arse is on fire! A real sting in the ring! But it tastes great and feels the right thing to do. Instructions say to dose ‘to taste’ so I am. I been reading all about cayenne and it gets a great press: best herb ever apparently.
I have been getting some excellent detox reactions too. This afternoon I was grabbed by the wild urge to shout out like a funking loon. It was wild man! I just needed to shout at the top of my lungs and swear out loud hard. *@%^%$$%! Felt liberating. Luckily I’m home alone today so my dear family didn’t see their beloved father and husband howling like a wolf. I had a dump and the need to shout passed. It happened again later too. I just need to shout out. Also shake my arms like freak. Odd eh! I shouted so loud I farted and followed through. Not ideal, but luckily I was in the comfort of my own home and no one was about. Wasn’t a full load luckily. Hey, it happens ok! I’m doing this crazy fast with red hot chill peppers…what do you expect? I’m a grown man and sometimes $hit just happens!
Energy has been ok. I got a little sleepy this afternoon, but no big deal. I avoided a nap because it makes to go to bed real late if I nap.
I woke in the night to pee and I was burning up and totally drenched in sweat. Dripping wet. Not very nice.
Otherwise, I’m enjoying it so far. Not hungry at all. Just drinking the drink. Tastes great. I am drinking an amazing amount of water. Gulping it down by the pint. Must be at least 4 litres today, at least!
Day 3: 18th August 2013
This is officially a no farting zone. I have given up food and now must give up farting too. It just leads to little mistakes and it’s not very nice. Had another accident this afternoon whilst mowing the lawn. Lovely!
I have two types of butt pee. Loose leaf herbal tea and curry sauce. Both are ring stingers, but the curry sauce lasts longer. That’ll be the mega quantities of cayenne pepper I am consuming. Think I need reduce the dosage to more manageable levels because this is too much!
I picked a load food from my veggie garden today: carrots, marrow, runner beans, strawberries, gooseberries, onions, apples and potatoes. See pic above. That’s for my family’s dinner this evening and I was mildly jealous, but not really. Fasting properly takes precedence at the moment. Made lunch for the kids and I didn’t feel any hunger or cravings at all. This is considerably easier than I anticipated.
I didn’t sleep that well. Woke in the night with stomach cramps and sat of the bog for 30 minutes. Pissed a lot too. When I woke up I felt all groggy, stuffy, gunky and congested. So I tried the salt water flush. It did the desired job, but I did have to sit on the throne for another 45 minutes. That’s not compatible with mornings and work, so I will stick the lax tea in the week and only do the SWF on the weekends. Lax tea is working fine, although I guess the cramps come from that. I time the amount of time the lax teabag remains in the hot water. Gonna stick with 1 minute until the cramps retreat.
Otherwise it all going according to plan. I have no headaches or any other major signs of any problems. No shouting or shaking today either which is nice! I continue to drink tons and tons of water. Again must be 4 litres easily. I am chugging down pints. That’s good. Keeps the flow of toxins streaming out. I am taking it pretty easy and having plenty of breaks and rests. I had a 45 minute bike ride and that was fine. I did get a little dizzy working in the garden, but it passed.
The sun is out, I have been taking some medicinal sunshine for my Vit D deficiency while I type this up. My garden is beautiful and full of flowers, fruit and veggies. Two pigeons are currently drinking from the bird bath. Now I have typed this up I will continue mowing the lawn. That little drama made me take a break.
They say the first three days are the hardest, so I say bring on day four!!
Day 4: 19th August 2013
Boom! And what a joy day four was. Arse is fine now I have reduced the cayenne pepper dosage to a more manageable level! Today felt like just any old day. Fasting seems no hassle. Really, I’m not making it up. Today was a breeze! In the office and no problems. And no problems in missing food. I’m totally not hungry at all and no cravings. Just drink the drink and everythings cool.
Now, I’m a getting any benefits yet? Because that’s the purpose of fasting – to get better. The main reason is to regain my energy which has been sorely lacking for too long…and today I felt the first inklings of energy returning. Cool eh! Just the beginnings, but beginnings is fine.
On the train home I thought it would be a great idea to get some exercise in; maybe a bike ride. Even thinking these thoughts is a good sign! I am normally knackered after work. When I get home I normally slump in the sofa, but today I was in the garden helping the kids wash their bikes, then running up and down as they dried them off by riding around. That’s unusual ok.
Next, my skin is feeling very soft and sexy, particularly my face. I look younger too. I even convinced myself that I looked a bit like Brad Pitt. Odd eh! Wife had a good chuckle at that! I don’t really look like Brad Pitt.
Rash on my feet is clearing up. Just to put that in context; I have had that damn rash on my damn foot for 12 months. Tea tea oil keeps it at bay, but it’s always there. And the horrible burning feet thing was not here for the last 3 days either. Fingers crossed!!!!! That would be great if the burning feet $hit would go away.
Today I drank 5 litres of water, plus 10 glasses of the fasting drink. It is needed. On the down side I am pissing like a trooper. Getting up at night three times is annoying, but I got back to sleep straight away.
I feel alert. I feel centred. I feel calm. I feel focused. I feel like this is the right thing to do. I will try my hardest to go for as long as my body tells me is ok. Minimum 10 days remains the goal. After 10 days…we will see what happens.
That’s all folks!