Day one of the Master Cleanse and I go into this all pumped up. Really excited. I’m gonna go for it! Really try and last for as long as my body can handle. There is something exhilarating about grand adventures like this. Makes me feel like Tom Sawyer or Huckleberry Finn. Not eating for 10 days! Not eating for 20 days! That’s just awesome. Will I have the mental strength to tough it out, or am I a pussy? I do so like a tough challenge.
In fact, this is not that tough compared to what some people do. My cousin Anthony, he is the real hardcore. He is a runner. He runs for fun. He just completed a 100 mile run. 100 miles. In one go! That’s almost four marathons in one run, without stopping. Yes, four! That’s what I call hardcore. And massive respect to him: he beat the course record by over an hour. He ran 100 miles in 16 hours…and lived to tell the tale! That’s hardcore. Fasting for a few weeks is a walk in the park compared to running for 16 hours. Respect mate.
I have two main concerns about fasting:
1) Losing too much weight. I don’t want to lose ANY weight at all. I can handle losing a little, because I know I will put it all back on afterwards, but I’m thin and this detox is NOT about losing weight, its about detoxing crap out of my temple!
2) Work. The office. I guess this is the most difficult thing for me: my clients and colleagues. Peer pressure. Fasting is not considered normal in the land of the Muggles. Normal people freak about fasting. Can’t get their head around it at all. And fasting for a long time, minimum 10 days, I cannot hide that from the office. It’s just too long. People notice. But on this occasion I just don’t care, will not care, sod’em! This time, today, now, I need to do this hardcore detox: so I’m doing it. It’s only a couple of weeks. I have loads of fasting experience, but I’ve always hid it previously, not told anyone. But this time, because I’m going to try and break my 10 day record, I told everyone in advance. Had a ‘last supper’ with the boys and made a big deal out of my last meal. Even had a few beers! NOT an ideal way to build up to the fast!!!! But it really was only a ‘few beers’; just a couple pints.
Anyways, Day 1, I have started and the first day was ‘OK’. The only thing I am now drinking is a concoction made of organic lemons, organic maple syrup and cayenne pepper. No other food can pass my lips. I am allowed the occasional herbal tea and as much water as I can handle, but otherwise that’s it: lemons, maple syrup and pepper. This apparently supplies my body with all its energy needs. Odd eh! I read that I will not get hungry and that when I feel a little hungry to just drink the drink and I will be fine. I also to lax tea at bedtime and first thing in the morning to keep me regular.
Instructions are to drink between 6 and 12 glasses of the drink spread throughout the day. On the first day I drank 22 tablespoons of lemon juice from 5.5 lemons. I also drank 24 tablespoons of maple syrup!!! Gulp, that’s a lot of maple syrup! And about 1 heaped teaspoon of cayenne pepper. That all works out to be 11 glasses of the drink, so I am within the limits.
First morning the lax tea did a job on me: I had stomach cramps and sat on the bog for a couple of hours. No big deal: $hit happens and it passed soon enough. Otherwise the day was all rather uneventful. I was not hungry at all. The drink did as advertised and there was no hunger. It did feel like I drank a lot of the drink. I had to drink every 1 to 1.5 hours. But really, I have nothing exciting to report. I drank about four litres of water in one day. That is on top of all the lemonade drinks. My tongue has gone a little furry…which is normal when fasting. In fact, the tongue is going to by my signal of success. I will try to keep fasting until my tongue goes pink and has no furry blanket on it. That’s the ideal scenario. Honestly I don’t think I will be able to go until the tongue is clean. Why? Because I guess it will take a long time to de-gunk me, and not sure I have the power to fast for a LONG time. People do this cleanse for a LONG time. 30 days. 30 days. 40 days. Holy cow! I can’t imagine fasting for such a long time. But, I will take one day at a time…just go for it and see what happens.
It is interesting to note I had no major detox hardships on the first day, (except the $hits because of the lax tea: but it was small fry). No headaches. No tiredness. No rashes. No dizziness. No fluffy heads. No nothing. That makes a pleasant change for my normal detoxing experiences! Let’s hope the rest of the fast is as straight forward as day 1. Also interesting and happy to note I did not lose any weight the first day: On the morning of day two I weighed in at the same 68kg (150lbs). Perfect!
That’s all folks!