This is a Long Term Project & Kidney Herb Fun ‘n’ Games.

hardAsNails2On the 15th May last year I started a set of kidney herbs to clean the sand, grit, crystals and gunk out of my kidneys. I was pretty sick and tired back then and still trying to recover from the heart scare. I thought it would be good to give them a gentle clean. It’s easy to just go slow and calm, just keep the herb at a dose low and avoid any nasty side-effects. That was the plan; however that’s not how it panned out.

What happened was that after four days everything went bonkers. My hypoglycaemia went crazy with major blood sugar issues attacking me from all sides. The jitteriness turbo-ed into overdrive and made life completely unbearable. Daytime was bad enough, but at night the jittery-funk made sleep impossible. Heart palpations scared the pants off me. Not fun. Not bearable.

It was frightening because I have done a lot of kidney cleanses these last six years. I have lost count of how many now, but must be over 15 cleanses. I should not really be getting such bad reactions from kidney herbs after so much cleansing.

And this is when the penny dropped: May 2012. This is when I realised what I must do. This is when I realised I knew what to do, that I’d done it all before, and that there could be no short cuts. I just had to get on the program and practice all that I’d learnt over the years. This is when I realised, and I mean really realised, that everything was screwed up, again, and that I had to go back to basics, again. The super bad reaction to the kidney herbs confirmed my worst fears: everything in my body had been severely compromised, again and that I must go back to square one, again.

The kidneys are the last organ to be cleaned when doing a full round-the-body herbal cleaning regime. Bowels first, the parasites, then lungs, then liver and then kidneys last. Sure some herbalists say the liver should be cleaned last, but I have had serious kidney issues and I know MY kidneys are the last in the round-robin cleaning schedule. This sequence of cleansing is the optimal, the easiest and the quickest order to do things. Easiest first, hardest last.

When I got such horrid and intense reactions to the kidney herbs in May last year, it showed me that I had to go back to basics. I had to clean the bowels, kill the parasites, clear the lungs, cleanse the liver and then last re-address the kidneys. The nasty reactions confirmed I had serious kidney issues. It confirmed I had to clean the easier organs first before I could tackle the kidneys.

It also meant it was gonna take a long time. It’s now been eleven months since May 2012. In that eleven months I have cleaned all the other parts of my body in rotation:

23 May 2012: 6 month herbal bowel cleanse
31 May 2012: 6 colonic’s, 2 per week.
06 June 2012: 30 day Humaworm parasite cleanse
16 June 2012: 5 days of Essiac herbs
10 July 2012: 30 days Humaworm anti-Candida herbs
19 Aug 2012: 20 days high dosage pro-biotics.
01 Sep 2012: 18 days Essiac tea
27 Sep 2012: Specific Carbohydrate Diet
28 Sep 2012: 23 days Liver herbs
25 Oct 2012: P&B Shakes
26 Oct 2012: 30 days Humaworm anti-candida herbs
10 Nov 2012: 11 castor oil packs in 3 weeks
03 Dec 2012: 28 days Essiac tea
30 Dec 2012: 30 days parasite cleanse from Humaworm
15 Jan 2013: 4 day Juice fast
01 Feb 2013: 18 days HW liver herbs
19 Feb 2013: Started daily Aloe Vera drinking
03 Mar 2013: 17 Days HW liver herbs
20 Mar 2013: 4.5 day Juice Fast

And now, after all that, I am free to try the kidney herbs again.
And yes, this is a long-term project.

So that’s what I have been doing this last year: working towards the kidneys. And now I have arrived! So lets see whats gonna happen!!!

I using the Andreas Moritz (R.I.P dude) Kidney herbs from These are 20-30 day herbs, repeatable after six weeks break. Today is day the end of day 5. I am at 1/3 of the dose. That’s more than enough. How do I feel you ask?

I feel a couple of things. First up I feel very mild lower back pain from time to time. I did a day at 1/2 dose and it was worse, so I backed down to 1/3 dose again and the lower back pain is but a thimble fulls worth of hassle: almost nothing. The jittery-freak is gone. That’s good. Heart palpitations are reduced. That’s good. Not gone, but reduced and for that I am a happy chap…however…

However all is not well. Not sure how to describe this sensation, but it’s a combination of four things: first it feels like I have been stabbed through my chest with a stake, vampire stylee. Second it feels like I have ultra-bad-power heartburn. Third it feels like I have pulled all the muscles in my chest. Breathing hurts. Stretching my shoulders hurts. In and out. And lastly it feels like a tumor is growing in my chest. It’s not really fun.

I think its just pulled muscles, but I does feel like a combination of all those things. In the day it’s mild and easily manageable, but last night Holy Cow! Last night it kick my arse big-time!

I awoke at 2am shouting. Very unusual! Never done that before. Incredible pain surrounded my chest, kinda like from inside. Every movement hurt. Nothing was comfortable so I got up and had a midnight snack-attack. That calmed things down a tad. I had no painkillers in the house because I generally don’t take ’em… unless, unless it’s bad like this. I got to sleep 45 minutes later and slept until 530 then the pain kicked off again and I had to get up, again shouting with the pain. It was almost comical, except for the pain. What an exciting life I lead eh!

Not my ideal night! I was so concerned I even went to see the dumbarse doc today. Thoughts of tumors and whatnot drives even me to doctors!!! LOL. Obviously doctor was useless, but at least they confirmed I didn’t have a tumor. Blood pressure and pulse were fine: 116/70, pulse 72, which is kinda perfect. Nice! Heart was fine. Lungs fine. So it was good to see the quack to confirm nothing super-serious was obvious, not that they would notice, although I guess they would notice if I was close to death. Maybe, maybe not. Her parting words were:

“If it gets worse, go straight to hospital.”
Great eh! I hate seeing doctors!

So yeah, that’s where I’m at right now. A years work towards the kidneys has happened. I am at the coal face now, drill in hands working away. I am 98.2 percent sure the chest pain is something to do with the kidney herbs. Not sure what or why. It’s not fun, it’s what happens when we heal. Bad $hit comes out of the body and it hurts. That’s how this malarkey works, or it does for me anyways. All I can do is cling on for dear life, hope it passes quickly, and hope I feel better afterwards.

That’s all folks!

Oh no it’s not: the selenium didn’t cure me. It helped a bit I suppose, but my temps remain up and down and low low low like a professional limbo dancer!

Everythings cool, so don’t worry. It just sounds bad when I put it in black and white. I am managing. I will stick at 1/3 dose because I’m hard as nails!!!!! LOL

Take care everyone!

Good news!

Doctor Joke (1)I have good news! Great news! It’s a miracle. Thank you. Thank you o great doctor! What would I do without you guys?

I have been feelin’ rough recently. Something has gone wrong with my hormones. Adrenals and thyroids is buggered up somehow. Three weeks ago I went to see my GP, my General Practitioner, my regular NHS doc, my hero. I explained that I was freezing cold all the time, had heart palpitations and no energy. In his wisdom he decided I was worthy of some blood tests: Kidney, liver, thyroid, full blood count.

The tests come back last Thursday and I dashed in to see him:
“…and how can I help you sir?”
“My tests? Did my tests come in?”
“Yes, my blood tests.”
“Oh yes, I remember, yes yes, your tests. I remember now, yes. I have good news.”
“…what do they show?”
“Everythings fine. You’re OK.”
“Oh goody”
“Yes, look here: Liver, all in range. That’s good news. Kidneys too. All in range. No blood in your urine either.”
“But what about my thyroid? I am still freezing cold all the time. What does that test show?”
“TSH, in-range. Free T4, in-range”
“Yes. You are fine.”
“Ok. I understand those tests are in-range, however my symptoms remain. I remain freezing cold. I remain tired. I cannot do any exercise. Heart feels odd. What do we do now? What do we test next? I’m still very much ill.”
“You are fine.”
“I’m still ill.”
“You are fine.”


…and I knew I’d come to the end of this avenue of exploration. I tested fine. There was nothing further to do or say. This doctor could not help me. I explained I was still ill – but, my tests showed I was all right, in his eyes, and nothing further I said or did would make any difference. I was ‘healthy’. In his eyes I was okay. Not sure how he did not hear my words when I told him I was not fine, but, but, well yeah, whatever…

I knew this would happen. I knew the tests would show up fine. It’s happened before and I must say I am pretty proud of myself. I didn’t get angry, or annoyed, or frustrated, or anything bad. Its’ happened before, I was just doing due diligence, going to the doc first, rather than last.

Fucking dick.

It still amazes me in this day and age. Amazes me that he sent me away after I told him I felt really bad. What a Dick with a capital D. Anyway, this time I didn’t let it get to me. C’est la vie. Now it’s time to get on with the job of finding out what’s really wrong. Back to plan A.


And on that note, I do actually have some proper good news. Last 3 days I have actually started to feel a bit better. Only thing I have added is the 200mcg of selenium so I put it down to that. I have not been miracle-cured, but I am less cold, I have more energy and temps are just starting to rise a little. Just. It’s early days, but I am very happy with this success of the selenium. I also need less sleep, which is an intriguing signal for me: feels like I am returning to a more even keel. I am craving some less-than-health-freak food and beer too. Always a good sign for me;-))!!!

I will increase the selenium dose in the next few days, see what that does. Seems the selenium is helping me convert my T4 to T3, if that what it’s doing.

The selenium advice came from the Muscle Tester Lady. She has got some things wrong, but this success makes up for those wrongs. Sometimes you need to persevere with these people, keep explaining things to them, keep forcing them to listen, forcing them to keep searching.

I consider the muscle testers advise about a million miles better that my traditional western allopathic doc. I consider myself lucky to have found a practitioner that knew to look at my deficiencies, knew to look for that needle in that haystack, to find that I was deficient in selenium. Amazing actually that I found someone, that found a problem. Almost a miracle compared to the crap advice from my regular doc.

I am also going to arrange an appointment with Dr Peatfield (adrenal and thyroid specialist) and get all the proper adrenal and thyroid tests does. See what a professional thinks of my situation. No doubt that appointment is months await….he is a busy and booked-up chap.


In other news: I finished the juice fast. Did 4.5 days in total. It was hard. Didn’t really agree with my blood sugar levels. Lost 3kg’s in those 4.5 days, but I know it will all go back on in the next week. My body is hungry and is eating like a horse, replenishing me, rebuilding me. Feels good to be so hungry.

In other other news: still freezing in olde Blighty! Holy cow, been snowing again today. Most unusual. I long for spring to arrive!!!!! I need to warm up!

I bought two tons of horse manure a couple of months ago. Yesterday I finished shovelling the $hit. Now every bed is covered. That’s my good deed for the winter. My garden should now grow like crazy. If it ever warms up that is!!!!!

That’s all folks!
Happy Easter everyone!