Kidney Cleanse: Day 22 and all is calm

IMG_0367Today is day 22 of the kidney herbs. Thankfully the wildness has subsided and calmness has returned to my body. Oedema lasted about 10 days, but now my swollen ankles and legs have returned to their normal size. During the Oedema I actually put on 4.5kg in weight in just 5 days. Wild eh! But all back to normal now.

The wild back and chest pain has gone too, phew! And I no longer need to sleep sitting up in an armchair. The armchair sleeping lasted eight annoying days. Honestly it was not much fun. Mega chesty pains and oedema was unpleasant, and especially so because I had to do a load of travelling last week: Dubai and Barcelona. But I survived, survived just fine actually. I have an amazing ability to battle on. I surprise myself. How is it possible to have so many things wrong with me, and yet still work like mad and travel like madman? I don’t know how I do it sometimes.

I continue to have uncomfortably hot feet. This is obviously a kidney signal. The crystals that settle in the feet are the same that settle in the kidneys. So when you clean the kidneys, you clean the feet too. That’s why hot feet is a kidney signal.

I was up to ½ dose on the kidney herbs. That’s one and a half tablespoons of herbs a day. The herbs are soaked overnight in water, then boiled in the morning and resulting tea is sipped throughout the day. I have just raised the dose to two spoons of herbs and I have awoken to a little lower back pain and a very mild headache. Mild stuff, just 2 on the Richter scale of hassle, but it shows me the herbs are working and that I have serious kidney issues. I will do another 8 days of the herbs to make it 30 days in total, gradually working myself up to the full herbal dose. Then I will break for two weeks, then do a two week herbal liver cleanse, then another two week break, then  restart the kidney herbs for another 30 days. That’s the plan anyway.

In other matters my temperatures remain low which indicates thyroid problems. I remain tired. I cannot exercise. I talked to Dr Peatfield the other day on the phone. He is the guru of adrenal and thyroid problems here in the UK. He is a good man and really knows his stuff Big-Time-Charlie. He has helped me greatly in the past.

He has asked me to take some thyroid glandular, ‘Nutrithyroid’, in very small and controlled doses to see what happens. To monitor my situation very closely with daily temp readings, along with blood pressure and pulse readings two or three times a day too. With all the monitoring I will be able to stop taking it of anything untoward happens. In the past this has made my blood pressure go banana’s, and I will be very careful and tread very carefully indeed. It is scary as $hit when the blood pressure goes crazy.

Anyway, that’s the plan. I will try the thyroid support experiment after the kidney herbs and before the liver herbs. Need to have a level playing field when trying these experiments.

The pic above is my garden just coming to life:-)

That’s all folks, take care


Kidney cleansing: This is exciting!

jim-carrey-in-living-colorToday I am in good spirits! Progress is being made. Grumpiness is gone and I am looking to the future! Exciting stuff is happening!

Ok, so you read in my last blog entry of the 11 month cleansing journey I took to be in a position to at last address and clean my kidneys: I am now cleaning my kidneys. Hooray!

I am on day 9 of the kidney cleanse and it’s been funky! Oh yes baby: exciting and fun and entertaining and exhilarating and bracing and bloody painful! Holy cow I am in the thick of it here and I am struggling to hold back the swearing! F*$&%£!!!

The chest and back pain I talked about last time continued so much so that sleeping lying down became impossible. I kept waking up every 30 minutes and just shouting in pain. This is proper loud, uncontrollable shouty pain. I woke up the wife. I woke up the kids. Not ideal.

So for the last four nights I have taken to sleeping sitting-up on my brown leather sofa, covered in my duvet. It is not especially comfortable. I awake in the night with major neck pains and have to loll the other way. And I awake early too, 5am-ish and can’t get back to sleep. But, this is infinitely better than waking up shouting in agony.

Yes, interesting eh! Lying down brings on the mega-shouty-chest&back-pains. Remaining upright stops the mega-shouty-chest&back-pains. As I said, interesting.

Yes, I have been to see the doctor! I went last week. They said it’s nothing.
Yes, I am serious. They said it’s nothing, but to go to hospital if it gets worse.
No, I am not making this up.


 To add to the circus act of fun, I have also developed a nasty bout of oedema. Whats Oedema? Oedema is when yo ankles swell up. Swell up big time, and hurt, and are hot, and you have to walk gingerly around like a penguin. It’s like having 8 pairs of socks on. My toes look like little chipolata’s: all swollen, skin’s all taut. I worry the skin may split so I am massaging in castor oil daily. My shoes are now worn Run DMC style. That’s fine on the weekends, but less good in the office with my brogues.

Oedema is when the body cannot deal with fluid correctly. The swelling of the feet is caused by water pooling there because something is busted.
Whats busted and what controls the fluid in my body?
Answer: my kidneys.
That’s why I am doing the kidney herbs.


So, I have back major back and chest pain, and hot, painful, swollen feet. I guess the last thing on earth I should be doing is long haul flying to go out drinking all night with clients in strange far away cities.

Yup, you guessed it! I am currently sitting all cramped up in economy class flying to Dubai and have two full days of meetings, lunches and dinners to attend. Great. I am currently travelling at 552mph, at 38,994 feet. It’s minus 52 degrees outside. So far I have travelled 2995 miles and I have 588 miles to go. Just so you know.

I guess it could be worse. I could have to fly back on Wednesday and then on Friday have to fly to Barcelona to go on a team bonding exercise with my office team. For team bonding read: going out until the crack of dawn, drinking and partying like a total loon.

Errr yup, I gotta do that as well. Very far from ideal given my current state of affairs. I will try my hardest to keep my head switched on and not let the party get ahead of me. In fact getting smashed would be pretty stupid. I will have to feign drunkenness. Should be fun! And no, I cannot cancel: I am the boss and I am expected to be there, through thick and thin, I have to be there. But don’t worry, I am a professional, in every way, and I have no doubt in my ability to manage, somehow.


This has happened to me before. Back in 2007 when I started all this crazy alternative healing malarkey. I was mega-sick back then, still had my amalgams in too. I did a kidney cleanse and I had major back pain, and major oedema. The oedema lasted 10 painful days back then, but when it finished I was a lot better.

So, back to today. What do am I learning from all this hardship? Because that’s most important. We must look, listen and learn from the signals our bodies give us. Well this lesson is plain and obvious and clear. I will list it all out to make it all triple clear:

1) My kidneys are seriously clogged and congested. They will need much tender loving care from me and my herbs. I guess 60 days cleansing as a minimum. I am currently on one-quarter dose. With breaks that will take 3 to 4 months.

2) The major chest and back pain must be kidney related and I must conclude that it is the result of the kidney herbs dissolving crystals, and moving out grit and crud. When crystals are dislodged they then move out the body via some ducts. The crystals (or stones) are jagged and snag in their transit out the body. This hurts like buggery, just am I am finding out. I guess someone, somewhere will know the reason for the lying-down-pain, but sitting-up-ok situation, but I guess some mobilised crap is pooling somewhere. I must say the pain is significantly less now that I am not aggravating it by lying down. Life is more manageable now.

3) The oedema is a clear, loud and very obvious kidney signal. They don’t come much bigger than that. The kidney herbs are cleaning some accumulated toxins out. I just have to keep my water intake high to flush the toxins out as quickly as possible. I was going to stop the kidney herbs because if the business trips, but I stopped for a day and felt worse. So I have restarted the kidney herbs on super-low-1/4 dose. My kidneys are in detoxing mode: they need the loving support and care from the herbs. My bizo trip will just have to take second fiddle.

4) And at last I finally figured out what this hot feet thing is! At last! I have been searching for a couple of years. I get really hot feet. So hot I have to take my shoes off in the office. I am talking unusually hot, annoying hot, painfully yeasty hot. This happens, rain or shine, hot or cold. It comes and goes, but it’s been a bitch these last 18 months. Now I know. It’s a kidney signal. How do I know? Because feels like I have been walking on hot coals since the hassle kicked in with the kidney herbs. Good to know! Great to know!

And I feel different too. Something has changed. And changed for the better. The clouds are clearing. The gloom is lifting. Although I am in pain and obviously suffering, I am suffering differently. I have had a slightly gloomy, unchanged, cloudy, stuck-in-a-rut outlook, but that’s gone now. I feel mentally stronger, less grumpy. Blood pressure is better. Heart palpitations significantly less, and I have a little more energy too. I can feel it coming back. My temps do however remain low.

I know I have all these troubles but I know, and when I say know and I mean I KNOW, that after the oedema goes, when the back pain goes, when the herbs have done their magic…I KNOW I will have climbed further up my ladder to better health, again. These kidney herbs are the last part of my full-round-the-body herbal health regime. I have done the bowels, parasites, candida, and liver and kidneys is last. And kidneys is important for me. Just goes to show! In our quest to heal we must leave no stone unturned!

That’s a top-tip. If you still ill after all you have done: then you need to clean everything: bowels, parasites, lungs, liver and kidneys.

In order to heal everything needs cleaning. Everything. You can quote me on that.

Will this hassle I’m enduring be worth it? Hell yes! One hundred percent for sure. A million percent yes. Short term pain for long term gain. Once the poisons are out they can never harm me again. Toxins always hurt when they come out. Pain and hassle is a signal that detoxification is happening. This is total body cleansing and I love it. I absolutely love healing. It’s the best feeling in the world to be getting better.

That’ll do for today. Don’t worry or fret. I have done this all before. When the $hit hits the fan when you are cleaning…it usually means good things are just around the corner! Fingers crossed.

That’s all folks, take care

PS. To remind you I am using the all kidney herb formula from Andrea Moritz (RIP dude) available from

PPS. Don;t you just love that picture of Jim Carey! I feel like that a lot, LOL.


This is a Long Term Project & Kidney Herb Fun ‘n’ Games.

hardAsNails2On the 15th May last year I started a set of kidney herbs to clean the sand, grit, crystals and gunk out of my kidneys. I was pretty sick and tired back then and still trying to recover from the heart scare. I thought it would be good to give them a gentle clean. It’s easy to just go slow and calm, just keep the herb at a dose low and avoid any nasty side-effects. That was the plan; however that’s not how it panned out.

What happened was that after four days everything went bonkers. My hypoglycaemia went crazy with major blood sugar issues attacking me from all sides. The jitteriness turbo-ed into overdrive and made life completely unbearable. Daytime was bad enough, but at night the jittery-funk made sleep impossible. Heart palpations scared the pants off me. Not fun. Not bearable.

It was frightening because I have done a lot of kidney cleanses these last six years. I have lost count of how many now, but must be over 15 cleanses. I should not really be getting such bad reactions from kidney herbs after so much cleansing.

And this is when the penny dropped: May 2012. This is when I realised what I must do. This is when I realised I knew what to do, that I’d done it all before, and that there could be no short cuts. I just had to get on the program and practice all that I’d learnt over the years. This is when I realised, and I mean really realised, that everything was screwed up, again, and that I had to go back to basics, again. The super bad reaction to the kidney herbs confirmed my worst fears: everything in my body had been severely compromised, again and that I must go back to square one, again.

The kidneys are the last organ to be cleaned when doing a full round-the-body herbal cleaning regime. Bowels first, the parasites, then lungs, then liver and then kidneys last. Sure some herbalists say the liver should be cleaned last, but I have had serious kidney issues and I know MY kidneys are the last in the round-robin cleaning schedule. This sequence of cleansing is the optimal, the easiest and the quickest order to do things. Easiest first, hardest last.

When I got such horrid and intense reactions to the kidney herbs in May last year, it showed me that I had to go back to basics. I had to clean the bowels, kill the parasites, clear the lungs, cleanse the liver and then last re-address the kidneys. The nasty reactions confirmed I had serious kidney issues. It confirmed I had to clean the easier organs first before I could tackle the kidneys.

It also meant it was gonna take a long time. It’s now been eleven months since May 2012. In that eleven months I have cleaned all the other parts of my body in rotation:

23 May 2012: 6 month herbal bowel cleanse
31 May 2012: 6 colonic’s, 2 per week.
06 June 2012: 30 day Humaworm parasite cleanse
16 June 2012: 5 days of Essiac herbs
10 July 2012: 30 days Humaworm anti-Candida herbs
19 Aug 2012: 20 days high dosage pro-biotics.
01 Sep 2012: 18 days Essiac tea
27 Sep 2012: Specific Carbohydrate Diet
28 Sep 2012: 23 days Liver herbs
25 Oct 2012: P&B Shakes
26 Oct 2012: 30 days Humaworm anti-candida herbs
10 Nov 2012: 11 castor oil packs in 3 weeks
03 Dec 2012: 28 days Essiac tea
30 Dec 2012: 30 days parasite cleanse from Humaworm
15 Jan 2013: 4 day Juice fast
01 Feb 2013: 18 days HW liver herbs
19 Feb 2013: Started daily Aloe Vera drinking
03 Mar 2013: 17 Days HW liver herbs
20 Mar 2013: 4.5 day Juice Fast

And now, after all that, I am free to try the kidney herbs again.
And yes, this is a long-term project.

So that’s what I have been doing this last year: working towards the kidneys. And now I have arrived! So lets see whats gonna happen!!!

I using the Andreas Moritz (R.I.P dude) Kidney herbs from These are 20-30 day herbs, repeatable after six weeks break. Today is day the end of day 5. I am at 1/3 of the dose. That’s more than enough. How do I feel you ask?

I feel a couple of things. First up I feel very mild lower back pain from time to time. I did a day at 1/2 dose and it was worse, so I backed down to 1/3 dose again and the lower back pain is but a thimble fulls worth of hassle: almost nothing. The jittery-freak is gone. That’s good. Heart palpitations are reduced. That’s good. Not gone, but reduced and for that I am a happy chap…however…

However all is not well. Not sure how to describe this sensation, but it’s a combination of four things: first it feels like I have been stabbed through my chest with a stake, vampire stylee. Second it feels like I have ultra-bad-power heartburn. Third it feels like I have pulled all the muscles in my chest. Breathing hurts. Stretching my shoulders hurts. In and out. And lastly it feels like a tumor is growing in my chest. It’s not really fun.

I think its just pulled muscles, but I does feel like a combination of all those things. In the day it’s mild and easily manageable, but last night Holy Cow! Last night it kick my arse big-time!

I awoke at 2am shouting. Very unusual! Never done that before. Incredible pain surrounded my chest, kinda like from inside. Every movement hurt. Nothing was comfortable so I got up and had a midnight snack-attack. That calmed things down a tad. I had no painkillers in the house because I generally don’t take ’em… unless, unless it’s bad like this. I got to sleep 45 minutes later and slept until 530 then the pain kicked off again and I had to get up, again shouting with the pain. It was almost comical, except for the pain. What an exciting life I lead eh!

Not my ideal night! I was so concerned I even went to see the dumbarse doc today. Thoughts of tumors and whatnot drives even me to doctors!!! LOL. Obviously doctor was useless, but at least they confirmed I didn’t have a tumor. Blood pressure and pulse were fine: 116/70, pulse 72, which is kinda perfect. Nice! Heart was fine. Lungs fine. So it was good to see the quack to confirm nothing super-serious was obvious, not that they would notice, although I guess they would notice if I was close to death. Maybe, maybe not. Her parting words were:

“If it gets worse, go straight to hospital.”
Great eh! I hate seeing doctors!

So yeah, that’s where I’m at right now. A years work towards the kidneys has happened. I am at the coal face now, drill in hands working away. I am 98.2 percent sure the chest pain is something to do with the kidney herbs. Not sure what or why. It’s not fun, it’s what happens when we heal. Bad $hit comes out of the body and it hurts. That’s how this malarkey works, or it does for me anyways. All I can do is cling on for dear life, hope it passes quickly, and hope I feel better afterwards.

That’s all folks!

Oh no it’s not: the selenium didn’t cure me. It helped a bit I suppose, but my temps remain up and down and low low low like a professional limbo dancer!

Everythings cool, so don’t worry. It just sounds bad when I put it in black and white. I am managing. I will stick at 1/3 dose because I’m hard as nails!!!!! LOL

Take care everyone!